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A struggling Aborginal widow is determined to make her 4 bi-racial daughters into a huge international girl band to guarantee they’ll never see poverty again.
If she is a 'stage mum', describe her as such - perhaps a failed performer in her own right. Otherwise, she comes across as silly, and the premise makes little sense.
If she is a ‘stage mum’, describe her as such – perhaps a failed performer in her own right. Otherwise, she comes across as silly, and the premise makes little sense.
See lessWhen an ambitious young basketball player decides to boost his exposure, by accepting an invitation to host a hip hop music award show. He risks his million dollar career, when inadvertently exposing the winner for best performer as a plagiarist.
"When he accidentally exposes a powerful Grammy winner as a plagiarist on live TV an ambitious rising star athlete must..." (Then tell us what they must do)
“When he accidentally exposes a powerful Grammy winner as a plagiarist on live TV an ambitious rising star athlete must…” (Then tell us what they must do)
See lessWhen his wife leaves him and his world falls apart, a depressed control-freak attempts to tie up all the loose ends in his life and with those he cares about as he plans his own suicide
Frankly, I have mixed and messy emotions about the premise.? (I've worked on a suicide hotline.) That said,? more power to you if you can play it for laughs.? However, I think a reader needs a clear signal that it's a dark comedy.?? I suggest "his world falls apart" needs to be fleshed out a bit.? MRead more
Frankly, I have mixed and messy emotions about the premise.? (I’ve worked on a suicide hotline.)
That said,? more power to you if you can play it for laughs.? However, I think a reader needs a clear signal that it’s a dark comedy.?? I suggest “his world falls apart” needs to be fleshed out a bit.? Maybe something like:? “When a control freak loses his wife, job, and home and his pet potbelly pig in one week, he…”
Or maybe he loses everything but his pet potbelly pig (that could have been the coup de gras wedge issue between him and his ex) and his objective goal is to find a good for the pet it before he commits suicide.? (And, of course, nobody want the pet.)
Whatever. Good luck.
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