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  1. Posted: October 4, 2019In: Drama

    A selfish millionaire, widowed to a radical terrorist academic that collected torture porn, attempts to teach her children the merits of assertiveness skills and socialist feminism

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 8, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    Shizz:By "What's the visual?" I mean two things:1] An effective logline evokes scenes in the imagination of a? logline reader? as to what the conflict, the struggle will look like on a movie screen.? The imaginary scenes may be totally different than what the writer puts in the script. No matter; whRead more

    Shizz:

    By “What’s the visual?” I mean two things:

    1] An effective logline evokes scenes in the imagination of a? logline reader? as to what the conflict, the struggle will look like on a movie screen.? The imaginary scenes may be totally different than what the writer puts in the script. No matter; what matters is that the words stimulate the reader’s imagination.

    To be frank the part of your logline that stimulates the imagination (for better or worse) is “radical terrorist academic that collected torture porn” — but that seems to be back story, not the central story.? In comparison, the central story “teach her children the merits of assertiveness skills and socialist feminism” — not so much.

    2] As indicated earlier, an effective logline states a concrete objective goal.? A concrete objective goal is one that can be a visualized on the screen in a way that informs viewers that the protagonist has succeeded or failed. For example, if a runner’s objective goal is to win the gold in the Olympics than there are two obvious visual moments? that inform the audience she has succeeded:? she breaks the tape at the finish line and she gets the gold medal draped around her neck as she stands on the highest pedestal.

    So, what’s the visual for “teach her children the merits of assertiveness skills and socialist feminism”.? What does the scene look like that visually informs the audience that she’s succeeded or failed?? (Or are assertiveness skills and socialist feminism means, rather than ends?)

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  2. Posted: September 6, 2019In: Drama

    When a transgender black woman kills a mentally ill murderer, she is put on trial for life, the jury, who vary from rich to poor to caring to prejudiced,? are caught up in a spiral of grey areas – and a case that exposes the increasingly mad world they live in.

    kpetrakis01 Logliner
    Added an answer on October 5, 2019 at 9:05 am

    I'm guessing that the transgender description should have some significance or why put it in there. Maybe evidence points to male and transgender person says it's impossible as he/she is a woman. Tell me why that's important in playing out the trial. I agree with above comments in the significance oRead more

    I’m guessing that the transgender description should have some significance or why put it in there. Maybe evidence points to male and transgender person says it’s impossible as he/she is a woman. Tell me why that’s important in playing out the trial. I agree with above comments in the significance of the victim – he is both mentally ill and a murderer – how does the protagonist fit in? Is it about the the person on trial or the jury? If you want to focus on the jury, the dilemma could be from the perspective of the juror who finds conflict in the story….it depends if we are going to see the story from the trangender person’s perspective or the jurors perspective…

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  3. Posted: September 9, 2019In: Drama, Examples, SciFi

    In a dystopia where emotions are a disease and love is a capital crime, two co-workers struggle to hide their feelings for each other while plotting to escape.

    kpetrakis01 Logliner
    Added an answer on October 5, 2019 at 8:58 am

    this sounds very interesting! Where will they escape to? Is it just a country or a place or all of earth? Otherwise, def got my attention.

    this sounds very interesting! Where will they escape to? Is it just a country or a place or all of earth? Otherwise, def got my attention.

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