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When an anxious, artistic teen girl receives a flyer for auditions to her dream school, then she is challenged to create a portfolio while trying to navigate her ruptured home life, until an accident with her drunk father forces her to improvise.
When an artistic teen receives a flyer for auditions to her dream school, she is challenged to create a portfolio while trying to navigate a ruptured home life, until an accident involving her alcoholic father forces her to improvise. 'anxious' seems redundant here, as well as 'girl', finally, 'invoRead more
When an artistic teen receives a flyer for auditions to her dream school, she is challenged to create a portfolio while trying to navigate a ruptured home life, until an accident involving her alcoholic father forces her to improvise.
‘anxious’ seems redundant here, as well as ‘girl’, finally, ‘involving’ works much better than ‘with’. I think this reads, sounds, and flows a lot better. Hope that helps. Sounds like a great story. You might want to play around with some other adjectives besides ‘talented’ to make your protagonist a little more interesting.
See lessA peasant and a magician team up to find a magic flute that grants wishes.
You should check out the formula page on this site. For a compelling story your character should be forced into this scenario. You need to add an inciting incident that pushes them into needing this flute. Also i would pick a single character to follow rather than two. It's generally easier. I'm thiRead more
You should check out the formula page on this site. For a compelling story your character should be forced into this scenario. You need to add an inciting incident that pushes them into needing this flute. Also i would pick a single character to follow rather than two. It’s generally easier. I’m thinking of something like this, which may not be anywhere near what you’re intending but will hopefully get my point across:
When a peasant is wrongfully accused of theft, he must enlist the help of the town magician to find a wosh granting flute to clear his name.
See lessA poor farmer falls for a rich young woman in 1970s Ethiopia.
Hi tony18. A poor farmer falls for a rich young woman, BUT?
Hi tony18.
A poor farmer falls for a rich young woman, BUT?
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