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Following the death of her mentally ill father, a stalwart journalist feigns insanity to infiltrate a New York Asylum and expose the horrors within. Based on a true story.
This reads well. I can visualize the story just from reading your logline.
This reads well. I can visualize the story just from reading your logline.
See lessA chef discovers that her husband is in an affair with one of her co-workers.
I'm not one with a lot of experience, but I have spent the last four months hammering out hundreds of loglines using multiple logline formats for a screenplay I'm working on, so I've picked up on a few things. It seem you should make your protagonist a little more exotic to make them more attractiveRead more
I’m not one with a lot of experience, but I have spent the last four months hammering out hundreds of loglines using multiple logline formats for a screenplay I’m working on, so I’ve picked up on a few things.
See lessIt seem you should make your protagonist a little more exotic to make them more attractive to delve into. What kind of chef, where is she from, what is his expertise, or is he famous? i.e. (a recently married French chef has just opened her first restaurant and)…discovers that her husband is “having’ an affair with one of her co-workers.
Just an idea. Hope that helps!
An Ethiopian young woman adopted by an Israeli couple wants to find her biological parents.
Hi tony18, I can see you are emphasizing "Ethiopia" in all your loglines. But I do not see any relation between your story and Ethiopia as a location or Ethiopian as a nationality. If you are insistent on mentioning the terms "Ethiopia" and "Ethiopian", you also need to mention the significance of iRead more
Hi tony18,
I can see you are emphasizing “Ethiopia” in all your loglines. But I do not see any relation between your story and Ethiopia as a location or Ethiopian as a nationality. If you are insistent on mentioning the terms “Ethiopia” and “Ethiopian”, you also need to mention the significance of it whether as a location or a nationality.
The young woman who was adopted by an Israeli couple can be from any other country. Why should you mention she is Ethiopian? Is the process of finding one’s biological parents any more difficult in Ethiopia compared to other countries? If yes, why? How? Elaborate.
If finding her biological parents is difficult, particularly in Ethiopia, then you have a challenge/barrier. A challenge makes a logline more interesting. But does she have a solution? How does she overcome this challenge?
Also, is there any particular reason to mention who adopted this young woman? Foster parents’ nationality etc? You must think of the core story. No unnecessary info is needed.
For example:
Struggles of a young woman to find her biological parents in Ethiopia, despite….(the challenge).
Use this as a template if you agree with me and re-write.
I hope this helps.
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