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“An African-American family moves into a small gated community faces racial discrimination from the white community members is forced to leave, but everything changes when a terrible incident occurs, which ends racism”
Protagonists are Proactive In your logline, things happen to your protagonists. First, they face discrimination Second, they are forced to leave Third, an incident occurs But what does the family do about it? What action do your leads take? In other words, your protagonists are coming across as passRead more
Protagonists are Proactive
In your logline, things happen to your protagonists.
First, they face discrimination
Second, they are forced to leave
Third, an incident occurs
But what does the family do about it? What action do your leads take?
In other words, your protagonists are coming across as passive.
If that is not the case, if in your story the protagonists are proactive, you should add that element to improve the logline.
Hope that helps
See lessA family man is surprised by an old girlfriend on his birthday and must confront his past to save his future.
If the goal of the lead character is to 'save his future' then in the logline you should tell us in a word or two what is threatening his future.
If the goal of the lead character is to ‘save his future’ then in the logline you should tell us in a word or two what is threatening his future.
See lessAfter signing a deal with the devil, A young egotistical successful musician must get out of his leech music executive’s contract in order to be with the love of his life, and gain back his freedom.
Leaning towards: “An egocentric musician must escape an enigmatic music execs contract when signing his soul to the Devil” I left the B story (love) out, make this yours, keep going! BTW: check out the 1984 classic “Oh, God! You Devil” for research.
Leaning towards:
“An egocentric musician must escape an enigmatic music execs contract when signing his soul to the Devil”
I left the B story (love) out, make this yours, keep going!
See lessBTW: check out the 1984 classic “Oh, God! You Devil” for research.