1. Posted: September 11, 2021In:

    An adopted young woman must overcome trauma looks for her biological family and develops a career as a musician.

    eliasbaar Penpusher

    Good for her... But what obstacles must she overcome? What is at stake?

    Good for her… But what obstacles must she overcome? What is at stake?

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: September 7, 2021In:

    A haute coture designer must return to her hometown to take care of her ill mother.

    Odie Samurai

    Consider the following: 1. What was the designer forced to leave (in her world) to return? 2. Her hometown, rural/backwoods, bizarre, or impoverished? 3. Her mother, overbearing, estranged, or terminally ill? Hope you find this constructive, keep going.

    Consider the following:
    1. What was the designer forced to leave (in her world) to return?
    2. Her hometown, rural/backwoods, bizarre, or impoverished?
    3. Her mother, overbearing, estranged, or terminally ill?

    Hope you find this constructive, keep going.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: September 7, 2021In:

    When things starts to repeat itself and people begin to appear in unexpected places a older man tries to understand what is going on.

    NeedyGoldfish Penpusher

    This is a great start! I would like to see a clearer event, character and action though. What starts repeating itself? How is that related to the man? Who is this man, apart form being old - give him an adjective that is more descriptive of his character. What does he have to do? Understanding what'Read more

    This is a great start! I would like to see a clearer event, character and action though.

    What starts repeating itself? How is that related to the man?

    Who is this man, apart form being old – give him an adjective that is more descriptive of his character.

    What does he have to do? Understanding what’s going on seems to be the first step, but what he does with that information is the exciting part. Let that be the action of the logline.

    See less
    • 0