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When her brother suddenly dies, an anxiety prone sister is forced to hatch an elaborate scheme to conceal the tragedy from her suspicious mother who stops at nothing to unravel the truth.
Who is the protagonist, the sister or the mother? Who is the pov character? Is there anything about the tragedy that intensifies the need for the sister to cover up the death? Like the son died while doing something that will bring shame and disgrace upon the family.
Who is the protagonist, the sister or the mother? Who is the pov character?
Is there anything about the tragedy that intensifies the need for the sister to cover up the death? Like the son died while doing something that will bring shame and disgrace upon the family.
See lessOne lonely Filipino seafarer in a cruise ship unexpectedly falls in love to his roommate but rejects him, as they sail together to Caribbean he attempts to commit suicide to end his depression.
Great. So our Seafarer is lonely. Good place to start psychologically, as our general assumptions are seafarers spend a great deal of time lone, at sea. Story Challenge: why might such a lonely man have have made such a isolating career choice - given it's so lonely out at sea? Still the question ofRead more
Great. So our Seafarer is lonely. Good place to start psychologically, as our general assumptions are seafarers spend a great deal of time lone, at sea.
Story Challenge: why might such a lonely man have have made such a isolating career choice – given it’s so lonely out at sea?
Still the question of gender remains? Recognise the importance of identity politics, but “he” -> falls in love with … Who? The value of this question is that of describing Villain – surely the best part of story development. Suggestion: Think maybe ‘Film Noir’ …. that is if the villain is female.
See lessWhen an indicted small-time thief learns of her boy scout kid brother’s ambition to make their crime-ridden town litter-free, she must spend her remaining days of freedom helping him while keeping him safe.
Keeping him safe from what? The logline doesn't suggest that he is in any danger. I get the town is crime-ridden but I think we need to know how this immediately impacts her brother. Would criminals in the town really pick on a Boy Scout kid who's trying to pick up litter? I think it's worth clarifyRead more
Keeping him safe from what? The logline doesn’t suggest that he is in any danger. I get the town is crime-ridden but I think we need to know how this immediately impacts her brother. Would criminals in the town really pick on a Boy Scout kid who’s trying to pick up litter?
I think it’s worth clarifying that she’s heading to jail. My understanding is that “indicted” is merely accused or charged for a crime. It doesn’t necessarily mean a jail term. I was actually thinking that it could work if she’s waiting for the verdict and when it happens (in act III) her sentence is 100 hours community service and the judge (who sees her around picking up litter) rules that since she cleaned up the town, her sentence has been fulfilled. It would be a nice way to tie the two strands of this together.
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