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  1. Posted: June 30, 2020In: Drama

    A bank manager invests 245 million dollars in an airport that does not exist, he must hunt down his scammers to save his bank from bankruptcy and going to jail.

    rustycohle Penpusher
    Added an answer on July 1, 2020 at 3:05 am

    I thinks that it would work better if you present the SCAM in a more precise way: for example, a bank manager loses 245 million dollars in an elaborate scam of an unexistent airport and must track down his scammers to save his freedom.

    I thinks that it would work better if you present the SCAM in a more precise way: for example, a bank manager loses 245 million dollars in an elaborate scam of an unexistent airport and must track down his scammers to save his freedom.

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  2. Posted: June 30, 2020In: Drama

    When his father and brother died in a tunnel collapse, a mischievous young boy must take over the work in mines to survive life.

    Stephanie Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 30, 2020 at 11:37 am

    Why is the boy mischievous and what will or won’t happen to him if he doesn’t solve the problem. Why is he taking over the mine ? You haven’t explained any of this nor the stakes that raise his risk either way.

    Why is the boy mischievous and what will or won’t happen to him if he doesn’t solve the problem. Why is he taking over the mine ? You haven’t explained any of this nor the stakes that raise his risk either way.

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  3. Posted: June 23, 2020In: Drama

    When a little girls father kills her mother before killing himself, she must convince her Sunday school teacher that she has seen GOD  

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    If you give us a 'must', you must give us an 'or else'; or else the logline will seem incomplete"After the murder-suicide of her parents, a traumatized girl must convince her Sunday school teacher she has seen God, or else..." (This bad thing will happen)

    If you give us a ‘must’, you must give us an ‘or else’; or else the logline will seem incomplete

    “After the murder-suicide of her parents, a traumatized girl must convince her Sunday school teacher she has seen God, or else…” (This bad thing will happen)

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