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After his vengeful ex-partner in crime recruits his son for a dangerous heist, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding and take his place in order to save him.
I think the story can be sustained by just padding out a little of the logline. Maybe the fugitive discovers that his ex-partner was using the son as a pawn to draw the fugitive out because he needs the best in the business? Or maybe he's drawing him out to get his revenge? I reckon if you added a rRead more
I think the story can be sustained by just padding out a little of the logline. Maybe the fugitive discovers that his ex-partner was using the son as a pawn to draw the fugitive out because he needs the best in the business? Or maybe he’s drawing him out to get his revenge? I reckon if you added a really interesting MPR that gives us a clue to the real?motives of this ex-partner, you will easily sustain this idea.
I would frame the inciting incident from the protagonist’s point of view. “When he discovers his vengeful ex-partner has recruited his son…”
See lessAfter a getting a call from a mysterious stranger, a college student must perform dangerous tasks that would allow him to save his mother who has cancer.
As a follow up to 85?s comment, what type of ?tasks? is this college student performing? ?You should describe the tasks in a word or two - are they menial tasks (such as raking leaves/taking out the garbage/painting for the stranger)? Or are they more dangerous in nature - kill someone, find someoneRead more
As a follow up to 85?s comment, what type of ?tasks? is this college student performing? ?You should describe the tasks in a word or two – are they menial tasks (such as raking leaves/taking out the garbage/painting for the stranger)? Or are they more dangerous in nature – kill someone, find someone, expose something sinister etc.? ?I don?t think you mean that the tasks are menial/routine tasks; so you should qualify ?tasks?.
Also, needs a touch more refining – but, a good start.
See lessAfter abandoning his family, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding in order to save his son, who has been kidnapped by his vengeful ex-partner in crime.
After his vengeful ex-partner in crime recruits his son for a dangerous heist, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding and take his place in order to save him.
After his vengeful ex-partner in crime recruits his son for a dangerous heist, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding and take his place in order to save him.
See less