Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
An obnoxious hummingbird and her time-traveling hijinks must learn that her misdeed to others have cataclysmic consequences.
Loglines are about the action in the here and now, in the present tense of the story -- not the lesson to be learned... sometime... eventually. Why? Because the struggle stretching out 90-110 minutes is what sells tickets, not the lesson finally learned in a few seconds of insight and recognition inRead more
Loglines are about the action in the here and now, in the present tense of the story — not the lesson to be learned… sometime… eventually. Why? Because the struggle stretching out 90-110 minutes is what sells tickets, not the lesson finally learned in a few seconds of insight and recognition in the 90th minute.
The ongoing action line, not the momentary lesson beat, is what movie producers want to see in a logline.
And what does the bird want anyway? What is her specific objective goal that generates the hijinks? What is her specific character flaw (in a word or short phrase) that leads to its misdeeds?
fwiw
See lessA jock, a hopeless romantic, and a cynic discover they each have supernatural powers beyond their imagination – and that they all love the same girl.
But does she love any one of them? Ultimately, isn't it her choice as to who she permanently hooks up with? Whoever has to make the pivotal decision that determines the outcome owns the story, hence should own the logline. So I suggest reframing the logline around her as the central/pivotal characteRead more
But does she love any one of them? Ultimately, isn’t it her choice as to who she permanently hooks up with?
Whoever has to make the pivotal decision that determines the outcome owns the story, hence should own the logline. So I suggest reframing the logline around her as the central/pivotal character. She faces a dilemma of having to choose between 3 equally cool, equally desirable fab-boys? Which one will *she* finally choose. No one boy has the total package.
Also, it’s stronger if the logline says that the boys have *unique* superpowers. Characters need defining characteristics that differentiate. (However, because in loglines it’s about less being more, there’s no space to specify what they are. That will have to be spelled out in the pitch, developed in the script.)
And since they have super powers, what is their super job? When they aren’t fighting against each other over her, what are they fighting for in unison? All super dudes have to have a super job, a super heroic quest/struggle they have to fulfill? It’s in the job description.
fwiw
See lessUn hombre encapuchado libera de su encarcelamiento a un joven ciega por error. Esa noche descubre que es la sobrina del rey, y la única superviviente de los Levende. Al mirarla fijamente ve el potencial y decide entranarla para acabar con el rey de Flertall.
"A hooded man frees a blind young man from imprisonment by mistake. That night he discovers that she is the king's niece, and the sole survivor of the Levende. Staring at her, he sees the potential and decides to train her to kill the King of Flertall." I dig it, but struggle with your protagonist,Read more
“A hooded man frees a blind young man from imprisonment by mistake. That night he discovers that she is the king’s niece, and the sole survivor of the Levende. Staring at her, he sees the potential and decides to train her to kill the King of Flertall.”
I dig it, but struggle with your protagonist, is it the warrior or the niece?
See less