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In a future where the wealthy live above the smog in floating cities, a group of scavengers ? led by a buoyant teen ? make the seemingly impossible ascent from the barren earth below in search of essential supplies for their people.
Wasn't expecting this level of feedback - thank you! All of your comments are of use and give me a good insight into what I'm not communicating about my story within the logline.
Wasn’t expecting this level of feedback – thank you!
All of your comments are of use and give me a good insight into what I’m not communicating about my story within the logline.
See lessA widower, coping with the suicide of her wife, must battle against a corrupt corporate superpower and control to her growing supernatural abilities to save her daughter who they claim does not exist.
The poor grammar makes it unclear what the plot is or even why a conflict exists. What does the suicide have to do with the corporation, or the corporation with the daughter, or the supernatural abilities with any of it, or any of it with any of it? Trim it down to the essentials and form a proper sRead more
The poor grammar makes it unclear what the plot is or even why a conflict exists. What does the suicide have to do with the corporation, or the corporation with the daughter, or the supernatural abilities with any of it, or any of it with any of it?
Trim it down to the essentials and form a proper sentence. Keep it simple and clear. Then we can understand what it’s actually about.
See lessAn amnesiac warrior woman with a mysterious, magical tattoo that compels her to do things against her will teams up with a band of eccentric comrades on a quest to uncover the secret of her markings.
You could make her act upon the discovery of what the tattoo makes her do, that would make her proactive?
You could make her act upon the discovery of what the tattoo makes her do, that would make her proactive?
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