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After a great war in Averia, a former female assassin seeking redemption is taken under the wing by a noble family, where she must learn to navigate high society while keeping her real identity a secret from the people that hunt her.
Frankly, I think her past, her harrowing career as an assassin, would be more interesting than her struggles to escape that past by hiding out in high society.? The premise? in this logline is more suitable for a sequel.? First write an origin story.Just saying.?
Frankly, I think her past, her harrowing career as an assassin, would be more interesting than her struggles to escape that past by hiding out in high society.? The premise? in this logline is more suitable for a sequel.? First write an origin story.
Just saying.
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See lessIn a future where the wealthy live above the smog in floating cities, a group of scavengers ? led by a buoyant teen ? make the seemingly impossible ascent from the barren earth below in search of essential supplies for their people.
Wasn't expecting this level of feedback - thank you! All of your comments are of use and give me a good insight into what I'm not communicating about my story within the logline.
Wasn’t expecting this level of feedback – thank you!
All of your comments are of use and give me a good insight into what I’m not communicating about my story within the logline.
See lessA widower, coping with the suicide of her wife, must battle against a corrupt corporate superpower and control to her growing supernatural abilities to save her daughter who they claim does not exist.
The poor grammar makes it unclear what the plot is or even why a conflict exists. What does the suicide have to do with the corporation, or the corporation with the daughter, or the supernatural abilities with any of it, or any of it with any of it? Trim it down to the essentials and form a proper sRead more
The poor grammar makes it unclear what the plot is or even why a conflict exists. What does the suicide have to do with the corporation, or the corporation with the daughter, or the supernatural abilities with any of it, or any of it with any of it?
Trim it down to the essentials and form a proper sentence. Keep it simple and clear. Then we can understand what it’s actually about.
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