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In a future behind a glass dome, an optimistic factory girl discovers a strange seed and journeys across an inhospitable landscape to find a mythic Rover God who could bring the earth back to its former glory.
As mikepedley said.? If the discovery of the strange seed is the inciting incident, then there should be an obvious, clear-cut. cause-and-effect between that discovery and the decision to take the quest.? But the cause-and-effect relationship between the discovery and the quest is vague, tenuous atRead more
As mikepedley said.? If the discovery of the strange seed is the inciting incident, then there should be an obvious, clear-cut. cause-and-effect between that discovery and the decision to take the quest.? But the cause-and-effect relationship between the discovery and the quest is vague, tenuous at best.? We , the readers, are given no reason as to what is so special about the seed that that it motivates her to go on a quest? to find the “Rover God”.
Further, if the “Rover God” is that potent, and benevolent why doesn’t she just take the initiative and? regenerate the world?? Why must a factory girl ask her?
(Also it’s SOP in? any plot entailing a mere mortal wanting something from a deity that the deity will refuse to grant the mere mortal her wish — until she fulfills some seemingly impossible task or undergoes some perilous ordeal.)
See less(First revision) When townsfolk reject an attention-craving man by magically transforming him into a ghost, he must seek the help of other rejected ghosts in order to find a way to break the curse before it becomes permanent.
Scott: Suggestion: go Kafkaesque with your premise. In Franz Kafka's "The Trial", Joseph K. is arrested and put on a trial.? But he doesn't why, what he is accused of doing, what he is supposed to be guilty.? And no one will tell him even as he's found guilty and sentenced to death. So have a modernRead more
Scott:
Suggestion: go Kafkaesque with your premise. In Franz Kafka’s “The Trial”, Joseph K. is arrested and put on a trial.? But he doesn’t why, what he is accused of doing, what he is supposed to be guilty.? And no one will tell him even as he’s found guilty and sentenced to death.
So have a modern day Joseph K.? He’s popular,? lots of friends on Facebook, followers on Twitter, etc.? Maybe he’s even a celebrity, a social influencer on the internet.? Whatever.
Then the inciting incident:? he wakes up one day to find he has been ghosted.? By the whole world.? No one will respond to him on social media or email; no one reads his Twitters or “likes” anything he posts on Facebook or on Instagram.? No one emails him or responds to emails; no one calls or return his calls.? He doesn’t know why, what he has done wrong, and no one will tell him.
fwiw
See lessWhen a deadly plague devastates the small village she’s passing, a cloistered sister, just out of the Abbey, hunts down clues to the seemingly magical affliction in order to discover who created the plague and save the town.
It has elements of The Name of The? Rose and Outbreak, but with a twist of magic - me like.THE_CNI has a point though, perhaps it would be better to make the village her home town. This increases the stakes as her own family will die if she fails.My try:After a deadly plague devastates her parents'Read more
It has elements of The Name of The? Rose and Outbreak, but with a twist of magic – me like.
THE_CNI has a point though, perhaps it would be better to make the village her home town. This increases the stakes as her own family will die if she fails.
My try:
After a deadly plague devastates her parents’ village, a nun in training must leave the Abby and stop the black magic causing the disease.
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See less