This is an improvement, but it still suffers from some of the same problems, and new problems as the previous version

Logline: “When a pirate, a princess, and an outlander discover that their crystal necklaces have magical powers, the three women go on an adventure that leads to saving the world from darkness.” (31 words)

Inciting incident: “When a pirate, a princess, and an outlander discover that their crystal necklaces have magical powers,” —> This sounds like an inciting incident, but it seems to me it’s more like what I refer to as the ‘Catalyst’. The ‘Catalyst’ is the event before the inciting incident which introduces the protagonist to their new world and the conflict, but it does not force them into it. The discovery of the necklace’s powers doesn’t force them into any conflict. They could choose to do anything. They could rob banks. They could get revenge. They could become supervilllians/heroes. But the inciting incident should be tailor-made for the specific conflict. The specific event is likely when the antagonist(s) attacks at first.

For example, think of Star Wars. The inciting incident may seem like the moment when Luke discovers the message from Princess Leia, but this doesn’t event doesn’t?force?him into the conflict. He just becomes aware of it, and then seeks out Ben Kenobi, making this event part of the Catalyst. The inciting incident comes when Luke, after being urged by Ben Kenobi to learn to use the Force, returns home to find that Stormtroopers have killed his family. It’s at that moment when decides to leave home, he even says it: “I want to come with you to Alderaan. There is nothing here for me now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.”(emphasis mine)
So, to break it down:
Inciting incident: Luke’s family killed by Empire. —>?This inciting incident forces Luke into a conflict with the Empire, and only?the Empire.
Goal: Help Rebellion destroy Empire(more specifically, destroy Empire’s Death Star.) —> A specific objective, which is still a part of the conflict with the Empire.
Climax: Rebellion’s battle to destroy Death Star.

Protagonist: “a pirate, a princess, and an outlander ” —> Feedback hasn’t changed from previous version.

Goal: “the three women go on an adventure that leads to saving the world from darkness.” —> This does not describe an objective. A logline should describe? specific objective. Look above at the Star Wars example, and also refer back to previous version.

Antagonist: Unclear. —> The logline implies that there is an antagonist, but it doesn’t not imply who, because “the three women go on an adventure that leads to saving the world from darkness.” does not imply a specific character working against them, because this is a vague statement that is not visually descriptive.

I think Richiev’s version is an improvement, and provides a good framework to use for a revision.