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The coming-of-age stories of a swashbuckling pirate, a rebellious princess, and an adventuring cuisinier.
Please read through the formula tab at the top of the page, and also read through the loglines other people have posted and read through the feedback they receive. Doing this will help you to understand the format and elements of a logline. Logline: "The coming-of-age stories of a swashbuckling piraRead more
Please read through the formula tab at the top of the page, and also read through the loglines other people have posted and read through the feedback they receive. Doing this will help you to understand the format and elements of a logline.
Logline: “The coming-of-age stories of a swashbuckling pirate, a rebellious princess, and an adventuring cuisinier.” (14 words)
This attempt lacks many of the elements a logline should describe.
Is this for a film or television series?
Inciting incident: None described. —> Should describe the event in the story which forces the protagonist into the main conflict.
Example(Finding Nemo): Marlin’s son, Nemo is? captured.
Protagonist: “swashbuckling pirate, a rebellious princess, and an adventuring cuisinier.” —> If this is a film, is there one character who gets focused on more? If it’s a television series, is there a character who gets focused on more in the first episode?
Example: Marlin is the clear protagonist of “Finding Nemo”. Not Dory or any other character. Marlin is the one pursuing the objective goal which drives the story.
Goal: None described. —> Because of the inciting incident, what must the protagonist set out to accomplish?? What is the climax of the story? The goal should be the objective of what will be accomplished at that point.
Example: Marlin must find his son Nemo.
The climax of the story should be an inevitable outcome which comes about because of the inciting incident. The goal should have a causal relationship with the inciting incident. Taking a look at “Finding Nemo”:
Inciting incident: Nemo is captured.
Protagonist’s Goal: Find Nemo.
Climax: Marlin is reunited with his son.
Antagonist: None described/implied. —> Is there a specific character/group who opposes the protagonist?
See lessSet in the year 1693: When they flee the Salem witch trials and end up in the land of the Wendigo, a naive Witch must use the dangerous power of the Black Flame in order to protect her and her sisters from ferocious demon.
What is the lead character's goal? Is it to destroy the demon and stay in the land of Wendigo, or is it to escape the land of windigo and get back to the real world?
What is the lead character’s goal?
Is it to destroy the demon and stay in the land of Wendigo, or is it to escape the land of windigo and get back to the real world?
See lessSet in the year 1693: When they flee the Salem witch trials and end up in the land of the Wendigo, a naive Witch must use the dangerous power of the Black Flame in order to protect her and her sisters from the ferocious demon.
Mentioning the Salem witch trials implies the year, so you can get rid of that. 'They' isn't a very interesting way of introducing characters, perhaps 'After fleeing...' as this implies characters and action. We don't know what the Black Flame is, does it need to be included? 'naive... wield her newRead more
Mentioning the Salem witch trials implies the year, so you can get rid of that. ‘They’ isn’t a very interesting way of introducing characters, perhaps ‘After fleeing…’ as this implies characters and action. We don’t know what the Black Flame is, does it need to be included? ‘naive… wield her new powers…’ may make the stated danger more personal. Is the Wendingo the ‘ferocious demon’? If so, why not describe it thus when you introduce it?
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