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Famine in rural Ireland forces a loving father to make a dark deal with a pagan spiritual entity to feed his family. When the bond is broken he must choose between losing his child or his soul to settle his debt.
giannisggeorgiou:Re:>>>what is the action that drives Act II?As far as I can tell, the deeds the farmer performs and the consequences that follow from the terms of the contract? he made with the devilish spirit.? For eventually he has a change of heart.? I take "when the bond is broken" toRead more
giannisggeorgiou:
Re:
>>>what is the action that drives Act II?
As far as I can tell, the deeds the farmer performs and the consequences that follow from the terms of the contract? he made with the devilish spirit.? For eventually he has a change of heart.? I take “when the bond is broken” to mean he stops performing his end of the deal.
It’s perfectly legitimate for a protagonist to make a wrong choice at the end of Act 1 and then have a change of heart later (either at the MPR? midpoint reversal) or end of Act 2.)? ?After which? the action and objective goal might shift into reverse gear.? (“Groundhog Day” is a good example.? In the 1st 1/2 of Act 2, Phil Connor’s objective goal is to exploit for personal gain and pleasure the fact that he’s time-trapped in?Punxsutawney, PA.? But after the MPR , his? objective goal and m.o. change: he uses the day to help others and learn new skills.)
Anyway, like you I would like a clarification of the pact the farmer has made.? What is he supposed to do to fulfill his end of the bargain?? Worship the devilish spirit?? Or…?
See lessWhen the woman of his dreams is kidnapped by a mysterious figure, a manic-depressive alcoholic alters his entire life trajectory to save her from an ethereal shape-shifter that harvests souls for energy.
AnkhEnergy: You've obviously put a lot of thought and imagination into your story.? I've said my 2.5 cents worth on the psychopathology and will leave it at that. One final thought: you're synopsis discloses information I was totally unaware of, could have never gleaned from the logline.? InformatioRead more
AnkhEnergy:
You’ve obviously put a lot of thought and imagination into your story.? I’ve said my 2.5 cents worth on the psychopathology and will leave it at that.
One final thought: you’re synopsis discloses information I was totally unaware of, could have never gleaned from the logline.? Information that frames your story in a different light.? Specifically, that your story is? specific setting as to country (Brazil) and culture (African).? I suggest this is need-to-know information that needs to be? concisely included in the logline because it’s your story hook.
In my book,? the most important factor in a logline, the must-have ingredient,? is the story hook,? an interest grabber that distinguishes,? differentiates a story from other stories with similar generic plot lines.? In this case,? from other plots about flawed a protagonist needing to rescue a damsel in distress from a malevolent entity.
Regards and best wishes with your writing.
See lessForced to flee a city, an irresponsible young man finds himself standing up to sinister elements to save souls in a mysterious secluded town where no one is allowed to leave.
>>>only to discover his own was stolen years before.That's an interesting Big Reveal, but it seems to be a spoiler, something the protagonist discovers late in 2nd Act or in the 3rd Act.? ? A logline should never contain a spoiler.A late in the story Big Reveal, as dramatically interestingRead more
>>>only to discover his own was stolen years before.
That’s an interesting Big Reveal, but it seems to be a spoiler, something the protagonist discovers late in 2nd Act or in the 3rd Act.? ? A logline should never contain a spoiler.
A late in the story Big Reveal, as dramatically interesting as it may be, doesn’t qualify as a story hook.? Why?? Because a story hook is a feature of the story that will attract and hold viewer interest? early on, in the 1st Act, in the 1st 30 minutes or so of the story — not later at the end of the 2nd? Act or in the beginning of the 3rd.? It’s an element that will be featured prominently in the trailers and teasers for the film.? Big Reveals can be hinted at in trailers and teasers– but they are never disclosed.? So they don’t belong in loglines either.
As far as I understand the concept,? the story hook seems to be that for some reason folks are trapped by a mysterious force in a town, a force that is also killing them off one by one.
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