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When his reflection changes to a young woman who needs his help, a reclusive author must enter Miraland and lead the rebellion against the crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.
>>>crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.So what?? There are so many crooked regimes and corruption in the real world, what difference will one more make?? What is so gawdawful about the regime in the mirror world that makes it worst than anything in this world --Read more
>>>crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.
So what?? There are so many crooked regimes and corruption in the real world, what difference will one more make?? What is so gawdawful about the regime in the mirror world that makes it worst than anything in this world — the worst of all possible worlds?
Alas, my impression of the logline through all the iterations is that of an interesting inciting incident, a good idea in quest of a worthy plot.? As Woody Allen said, “Good ideas are a dime a dozen: ‘It’s the then what?’ that kills you.”
See lessWhen the boy she meets turns out to be a werewolf like her, a sheltered girl begins a forbidden relationship with that helps express their beastly forms but runs the risk of being discovered by the paranoid hicks of her small town.
Isn't it usually forbidden for werewolf/human hookups? Not human/human or werewolf/werewolf? And "paranoid" seems a bit harsh, I mean they literally are monsters, aren't they right to be concerned??Your tone is unclear.
Isn’t it usually forbidden for werewolf/human hookups? Not human/human or werewolf/werewolf? And “paranoid” seems a bit harsh, I mean they literally are monsters, aren’t they right to be concerned??Your tone is unclear.
See lessAfter a young girl finds a strange red cloak that influences and changes her behavior, her twin brother must rescue her from a strange forest before she completely forgets who she is.
I feel like I'd connect with this more if I knew the cape's goal. That may sound dumb but somebody enchanted this thing - to what end? "Influences and changes" is redundant, "influences and changes her behavior" is description overkill?if all it's doing is making her lose her memories, you could jusRead more
I feel like I’d connect with this more if I knew the cape’s goal. That may sound dumb but somebody enchanted this thing – to what end? “Influences and changes” is redundant, “influences and changes her behavior” is description overkill?if all it’s doing is making her lose her memories, you could just say that, which you already do a few words later… all this is making me think there’s more to the cape than memory loss, and if so, what and why? That would help with stakes, as well. And if the cape itself is the antagonist, then we definitely need to feel like it’s not just random.
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