1. Posted: February 20, 2018In:

    After discovering his sister, presumed dead, is alive, a soldier must betray his father, the general, to save her.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    This logline has some high stakes and a good backdrop but lacks some critical details. I think the intention is that the sister was reported as killed in battle, then new reports came in that she is still alive but behind enemy lines, is that the case? If so, there's no need to describe her as presuRead more

    This logline has some high stakes and a good backdrop but lacks some critical details.

    I think the intention is that the sister was reported as killed in battle, then new reports came in that she is still alive but behind enemy lines, is that the case? If so, there’s no need to describe her as presumed dead – the emotional stakes of wanting to save your sibling are high enough as it is. Why not change it so the inciting incident is – After his sister is caught behind enemy lines during a war between humans and elves…

    The whole betraying father element pales in comparison to his efforts in fighting the enemy to save the sister – that’s where your major conflict and obstacles will be, the dad will calm down once sis is back safe and sound.

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  2. Posted: February 5, 2018In:

    as the black plague threatens the world once more, two female werecats fighting to save humanity discover their forbidden love for one another.

    Richiev Singularity

    Guillerson is right, you should have a bad guy that is unleashing the black plague on humanity, an ancient arch-enemy of the Werecat?society, Then the lead and her friend can fight against the bad guy in order to stop him from unleashing the plague because you can't really fight against a plague. ThRead more

    Guillerson is right, you should have a bad guy that is unleashing the black plague on humanity, an ancient arch-enemy of the Werecat?society, Then the lead and her friend can fight against the bad guy in order to stop him from unleashing the plague because you can’t really fight against a plague.

    This could even be a cross between Buffy the Vampire Slayer?and Underworld. The Werecats have an ancient enemy who has been long dormant, they trained from childhood because of a prophecy that their enemy will return. Now it is happening and the fight begins.

    However, the lead character Werecat is also a normal sixteen-year-old girl who has a normal life and normal friends who know nothing about her and her families life as Werecats and there ancient war against their enemy

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  3. Posted: February 5, 2018In:

    A young female werecat discovers she is in love with her best friend while trying to prevent the end of the world.

    Richiev Singularity

    You should tell us the specific threat to the world Then tell us what the lead character must do to save the world And if possible give us a hint on how the lead being a werecat will help in achieving this goal. I think doing this will improve your logline

    You should tell us the specific threat to the world
    Then tell us what the lead character must do to save the world
    And if possible give us a hint on how the lead being a werecat will help in achieving this goal.

    I think doing this will improve your logline

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