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Set in a mythical time in precolonial America, when a race of demons begin killing humans in their sleep and replacing them with duplicates, a naive hunter must work with his tribal enemies to stop the monsters before they are taken next.
You should make it personal (I find myself saying this a lot) "When his sister is killed and replaced by body-snatching demons, a native American hunter must..." Instead of killing? 'humans' the demons should do something to a specific person who the lead character cares about.
You should make it personal (I find myself saying this a lot)
“When his sister is killed and replaced by body-snatching demons, a native American hunter must…”
Instead of killing? ‘humans’ the demons should do something to a specific person who the lead character cares about.
See lessWhen they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go with them to the lair of a savage yeti tribe to rescue and awaken the only goddess who can end the ice age.
>>>When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go..Why must they go?? What step in the cause-and-effect logic am I not seeing here?>>>to rescue and awaken the only goddessHow can a goddess who needs to be rescued be potent enough to turn back the ice age?Read more
>>>When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go..
Why must they go?? What step in the cause-and-effect logic am I not seeing here?
>>>to rescue and awaken the only goddess
How can a goddess who needs to be rescued be potent enough to turn back the ice age?? If she can’t rescue herself, how can it be that she has the power to rescue everyone else?
See lessA greedy bounty hunter falsely accused of regicide must race against outlaws to earn a wish and clear his name.
The "wish-granting land" seems to keep tripping up logline readers.The concept is hard to grasp because it refers to some vague place rather than a wish granting person (like a fairy or a wizard).? How can a place grant a wish? Doesn't that require some kind of consciousness to be able to do so.? AnRead more
The “wish-granting land” seems to keep tripping up logline readers.
The concept is hard to grasp because it refers to some vague place rather than a wish granting person (like a fairy or a wizard).? How can a place grant a wish? Doesn’t that require some kind of consciousness to be able to do so.? And if there is a consciousness, how can a place have a mind of its own?
It also run counters to the current conventions of drama (even fantasy) where it the dramatic job of the protagonist to make his own wishes come true.? He can’t outsource it to some other person, place or thing.? Or if he can, it has ironic, unintended, negative consequences; hence, it doesn’t represent the final solution, only a further compounding of his dramatic predicament.
A logline should create curiosity, not confusion.? I suggest that if you intend to stay with a wish-granting place rather than a person, drop it from the logline and introduce and develop it in the script.? Because it’s going to take considerable exposition to sell the idea to an audience, to answer all the questions it raises.? And the purpose of a logline is to sell a story — not explain it.
fwiw
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