1. Posted: October 7, 2017In:

    (Short) A down on his luck and jaded 20 something who robs a bank on Christmas eve meets a little girl who is convinced that an Old Man in the bank is Santa Claus.

    [Deleted User]

    I think this is great as a first draft. And with a little bit of work you'll be able to make this into a nice Christmas short story. Your characters have to be connected. Even though Christmas stories can be far-fetched, your characters' motivations can't be; Because most people understand credibleRead more

    I think this is great as a first draft. And with a little bit of work you’ll be able to make this into a nice Christmas short story. Your characters have to be connected. Even though Christmas stories can be far-fetched, your characters’ motivations can’t be; Because most people understand credible motivations. In film-making, probable impossibilities are better than improbable possibilities.

    An improbable possibility?would be for the girl, who thinks the old man is?the real santa, to be a meaningful enough obstacle or reason?for the 20-something to stop robbing a?bank.

    A probable impossibility?could be that the old man truly is Santa and the 20-something made the wrong choice by?using the little girl as a getaway hostage.

    Hope that helps.

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  2. Posted: September 27, 2017In:

    In Portland, Oregon there is a house which for the last 130 years has served to maintain the link between two worlds: ours, and the world of The Wondrous. In this immersive, real-world adventure, six players will decide if Wonder is something worth saving.

    Legend_of Penpusher

    Thanks for the help thus far. I'm posting here because I'm submitting my project for a story workshop.?The project is?a real-world adventure where groups of six? palyers interact with actors and puzzles inside a big house, and I need a logline for the application. I should have one anyway. This storRead more

    Thanks for the help thus far. I’m posting here because I’m submitting my project for a story workshop.?The project is?a real-world adventure where groups of six? palyers interact with actors and puzzles inside a big house, and I need a logline for the application. I should have one anyway. This story is rolled out in the same way a narrative video game would. The players eventually become the central characters. Anyway, I’m rambling,?but?does anybody have a notion of how to create a logline that will describe the story while including the idea that there are players who have signed up to do the thing?

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  3. Posted: September 21, 2017In:

    A feisty female weretiger who just wants to hunt in peace, discovers a werecat trapped beneath the city, while realising that she is in love with her best friend Sally, as they team up with and unlikely ally to save the world from destruction.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with? DPG. Also, the MC descriptions are lacking. "...female..." adds nothing to the reader's understanding of what kind of person she is. What's her flaw? What is the problem she needs to overcome in order to become a better person?

    Agreed with? DPG.

    Also, the MC descriptions are lacking. “…female…” adds nothing to the reader’s understanding of what kind of person she is. What’s her flaw? What is the problem she needs to overcome in order to become a better person?

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