1. Posted: April 10, 2017In:

    Astrolia: When a man goes missing on an archaeological dig his brilliant but narrow-minded niece discovers his secret double life and her own connection to an ancient prophecy in a world she never knew existed.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    The description of each element must be heavily pregnant with information for a logline to be effective, yet there is a severe lack of detail in this logline.Here is an example: "...When a man goes missing..." means very little when first read as it describes half the human race. Later in the loglinRead more

    The description of each element must be heavily pregnant with information for a logline to be effective, yet there is a severe lack of detail in this logline.

    Here is an example: “…When a man goes missing…” means very little when first read as it describes half the human race. Later in the logline it’s revealed that this is, in fact, the uncle of the protagonist. Why not describe him as who he is i.e; After her uncle goes missing…

    The lack of clarity aside, the plot is vague – what does she do? What is the MC’s goal after the uncle goes missing she needs to act but it isn’t clear, from the logline, what her action will be. All story mediums film, TV and web series need a main character in pursuit of a goal, what’s hers?

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  2. Posted: March 5, 2017In:

    A middle aged couple take their niece on a haunted ghost tour in hopes of reconnecting, only to sense the tour guide may not be a guide at all but a ghost.

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter

    Erica, my first question raised is why is "middle aged" important enough to mention? I like the reconnecting part with the niece. Recommend emphasizing that, while adding a valid stakes.

    Erica, my first question raised is why is “middle aged” important enough to mention? I like the reconnecting part with the niece. Recommend emphasizing that, while adding a valid stakes.

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  3. Posted: February 10, 2017In:

    In the year 3,000 since the hell-break an ex-soldier is helping group of small weasel-like creatures to cross hostile continent in search for their homeland. Part of the payment he receives is not simply a toy like he believes in the beginning but a mysterious powerful entity.

    Best Answer
    Fma Samurai

    As payment for?helping a?group of small weasel-like creatures cross the?hostile continent to reach their homeland, a weathered ex soldier receives?a seemingly simple toy that turns out to be a?mysterious and?powerful entity he accidentally unleashes through his carelessness.??Now he must stop it atRead more

    As payment for?helping a?group of small weasel-like creatures cross the?hostile continent to reach their homeland, a weathered ex soldier receives?a seemingly simple toy that turns out to be a?mysterious and?powerful entity he accidentally unleashes through his carelessness.??Now he must stop it at all costs before it destroys the Peace Accord signed after the last great Hell Break of 2999.

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