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  1. Posted: April 15, 2017In: Fantasy

    KNIGHTS of ASDERIN: THE DEMON KING’S RETURN – Upon falling into the world of his favorite game, a player running from his responsibilities joins a guild of adventurers on their quest, but when he accidentally releases the demon king from his ethereal prison, it is up to him and his new allies to defeat him.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2017 at 12:40 pm

    In a strange way this is similar to Dorthy's story in The Wizard of Oz meets Tron - after falling into a fantasy world Dorothy motivates the wicked witch of the west into being the antagonist, in a way Dorothy created her own antagonist for her journey. In this concept, the world is a virtual/digitaRead more

    In a strange way this is similar to Dorthy’s story in The Wizard of Oz meets Tron – after falling into a fantasy world Dorothy motivates the wicked witch of the west into being the antagonist, in a way Dorothy created her own antagonist for her journey.
    In this concept, the world is a virtual/digital one and the wicked witch is a demon king.

    Dorothy had to follow the yellow brick road to find the all-powerful Wizard with her new found friends, same with Alan in Tron with the help of Tron they travel the vast digital expanse of the main frame to destroy Flyn’s evil programs.

    How does this concept provide the MC with allies and a journey to defeat the king?

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  2. Posted: April 10, 2017In: Fantasy

    Astrolia: When a man goes missing on an archaeological dig his brilliant but narrow-minded niece discovers his secret double life and her own connection to an ancient prophecy in a world she never knew existed.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on April 12, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    The description of each element must be heavily pregnant with information for a logline to be effective, yet there is a severe lack of detail in this logline.Here is an example: "...When a man goes missing..." means very little when first read as it describes half the human race. Later in the loglinRead more

    The description of each element must be heavily pregnant with information for a logline to be effective, yet there is a severe lack of detail in this logline.

    Here is an example: “…When a man goes missing…” means very little when first read as it describes half the human race. Later in the logline it’s revealed that this is, in fact, the uncle of the protagonist. Why not describe him as who he is i.e; After her uncle goes missing…

    The lack of clarity aside, the plot is vague – what does she do? What is the MC’s goal after the uncle goes missing she needs to act but it isn’t clear, from the logline, what her action will be. All story mediums film, TV and web series need a main character in pursuit of a goal, what’s hers?

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  3. Posted: March 5, 2017In: Fantasy

    A middle aged couple take their niece on a haunted ghost tour in hopes of reconnecting, only to sense the tour guide may not be a guide at all but a ghost.

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on March 6, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Erica, my first question raised is why is "middle aged" important enough to mention? I like the reconnecting part with the niece. Recommend emphasizing that, while adding a valid stakes.

    Erica, my first question raised is why is “middle aged” important enough to mention? I like the reconnecting part with the niece. Recommend emphasizing that, while adding a valid stakes.

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