1. Posted: April 29, 2016In:

    A misanthropic girl and her rebellious friend are constantly looking for thrills to lighten up their dull lives but when she learns her half-sister has supernatural powers, she realizes having a normal life isn’t so bad.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, is this for a feature lenght movie or a short? In my opinion this could be a quite accurate synopsis for a short. As a feature lenght movie, I share the opinions of the previous commenters. In detail, I'm not confortable with a character who "realize" something: this is 'internal', a loglineRead more

    Hello,
    is this for a feature lenght movie or a short?
    In my opinion this could be a quite accurate synopsis for a short.
    As a feature lenght movie, I share the opinions of the previous commenters.
    In detail, I’m not confortable with a character who “realize” something: this is ‘internal’, a logline should focus on the ‘external’ to attract me.

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  2. Posted: April 29, 2016In:

    A team of thrill-seeking angels, who get their kicks BASE jumping into hell, uncover a plot by the most nefarious gangster in the underworld to take control of the human realm.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Once they discover the plot what do they do? The answer to the above question is essentially the goal, and currently missing from the logline. Was the discovery the inciting incident or was there another event that sparked their interest to uncover the plot? This is important as it defines how and wRead more

    Once they discover the plot what do they do?

    The answer to the above question is essentially the goal, and currently missing from the logline.

    Was the discovery the inciting incident or was there another event that sparked their interest to uncover the plot? This is important as it defines how and when he story starts.

    Lastly agreed with CMathias the antagonist sounds weak especially compared with the Devil, which would obviously be there to some degree.

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  3. Posted: April 25, 2016In:

    After accepting the reality of being raped by a woman, a reformed demigod assassin tries to deal with his depression by getting back into the business of hunting people who bear the Chimera Mark.

    t9ejane Logliner

    Hi I think the story's goal and theme are revenge and justice. Who and how can be plugged in to support the goal and theme. A mythological assassin strikes back to right the wrongs of rape and injustice... This tells me he's a demigod and he's got some good reasons to pick up his assassin skills agaRead more

    Hi
    I think the story’s goal and theme are revenge and justice. Who and how can be plugged in to support the goal and theme.

    A mythological assassin strikes back to right the wrongs of rape and injustice…

    This tells me he’s a demigod and he’s got some good reasons to pick up his assassin skills again. But it’s still not enough info. Maybe what’s missing is who is responsible for the injustice. You said a woman and a chimera mark. Is it an all women warrior civilization?

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