1. Posted: July 12, 2022In:

    When the king ends up on his death bed, a young prince must prevent a revolution by stopping the chancellor from gaining control of the throne.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi Harris, How about this? With the king on his death bed, a young prince must prevent a chancellor from initiating a revolution that is aimed to surrender the kingdom to him. I hope this helps.

    Hi Harris,
    How about this?

    With the king on his death bed, a young prince must prevent a chancellor from initiating a revolution that is aimed to surrender the kingdom to him.

    I hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: July 7, 2022In:

    Two star-crossed lovers, one a wizard, and one a witch, fight to stay together while both of their families engage in a neverending war.

    BenGilani Logliner

    I can see something like this: With their families' being mortal enemies, two star-crossed lovers, a wizard, and a witch must ignore the rules and stay together. I hope this helps

    I can see something like this:

    With their families’ being mortal enemies, two star-crossed lovers, a wizard, and a witch must ignore the rules and stay together.

    I hope this helps

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  3. Posted: June 17, 2022In:

    A boy must save the magic in an alternate universe or have his own universe destroyed.

    Richiev Singularity

    There are a few elements that if added to the logline in a concise manner would improve it. 1 What is threatening to destroy our universe. (Or the lead character's universe) This will help us understand the overall problem and also the stakes. 2 You say 'a boy' but what special powers does the boy hRead more

    There are a few elements that if added to the logline in a concise manner would improve it.

    1 What is threatening to destroy our universe. (Or the lead character’s universe) This will help us understand the overall problem and also the stakes.
    2 You say ‘a boy’ but what special powers does the boy have so that we will know why it must be him that goes on this quest… (And it must be done in a word or two) When a “magically adept” boy (For instance)
    3 How do the two universes connect? If the threat is in this universe why must he go into a different universe to save it?

    Anyway, I believe adding these specifics will help the logline as long as they don’t add too much to the overall word count.

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