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A corrupt PR agent flees to his sleepy hometown after inheriting his father’s derelict hotel and unites with the mischievous ghost of his suicidal first guest to scare off a vindictive property developer.
Who is the protagonist? If he's corrupt why should we root for him -- because the bad guys worse? It sounds like the property developer is just trying to do his job and is getting haunted by a suicidal ghost, in comedy you can get away with having some assholes as your lead (Ferris Bueller's Day OffRead more
Who is the protagonist? If he’s corrupt why should we root for him — because the bad guys worse? It sounds like the property developer is just trying to do his job and is getting haunted by a suicidal ghost, in comedy you can get away with having some assholes as your lead (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Superbad) but they need to either be sympathetic or have a moral compass in the form of a sidekick. I don’t see any of that here. Hope this helps.
See lessA group of high school seniors head out to a lake house for a weekend to celebrate graduation. Things get out of hand after several of them begin using an illegal substance that opens the door for demonic possession and ultimately threatens their very existence.
I like what you have but you need to say more about the substance, maybe how they came to get it? Why it leads to demonic possession. Good one the less, I get an evil dead feel kind of.
I like what you have but you need to say more about the substance, maybe how they came to get it? Why it leads to demonic possession. Good one the less, I get an evil dead feel kind of.
See lessHe lost his friend and his father on the same day, fifteen years later a young man must overcome his inability to accept his loss and protect his friends from the same monster that his pain originates.
I think the problem with this one is mostly structure. While a logline is primarily to clearly and concisely convey the story, a great one also presents the tone and genre. Reading this, I had no idea it was a monster movie, or even a horror, until the very end but a trauma-based drama. My advice woRead more
I think the problem with this one is mostly structure. While a logline is primarily to clearly and concisely convey the story, a great one also presents the tone and genre.
Reading this, I had no idea it was a monster movie, or even a horror, until the very end but a trauma-based drama. My advice would be to take the helpful notes from Nir Shelter above and rewrite it, maybe something like;
Fifteen years after a mysterious monster ravaged his father and best friend, a young man must protect his wife and newborn child when…”
I also suggest replacing “young man” with something more sympathetic. Maybe hinting towards the stress and trauma he feels for the murder?
Hope this helps.
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