1. Posted: May 21, 2020In:

    An insecure wheelchair-bound college girl spends the weekend at a cottage with friends where they are attacked by zombies. They don’t know why until she discovers that the zombies were all murder victims of her friends – and she was next.

    Michael Fine Logliner

    I agree about the active goal, but the main point of the movie is a disabled girl overcoming her physical disability and emotional insecurity to save her friends (and ultimately herself!) The zombies ending up as the "good guys" is collateral benefit.

    I agree about the active goal, but the main point of the movie is a disabled girl overcoming her physical disability and emotional insecurity to save her friends (and ultimately herself!) The zombies ending up as the “good guys” is collateral benefit.

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  2. Posted: April 9, 2020In:

    With the help of his undead lost love, a reluctant store manager must return to the island where she was slain to prevent the escape of a primitive evil before the anniversary of her death.

    Best Answer
    Jonathon Nicholas Penpusher

    Hi Odie,   i actually love this premise. its a refreshing and interesting take on the classic horror movie.   for me, these would be my questions to ask:   Why does he love her? What is unique about their relationship? Why is he reluctant? what is it that is making him doubt his decisRead more

    Hi Odie,

     

    i actually love this premise. its a refreshing and interesting take on the classic horror movie.

     

    for me, these would be my questions to ask:

     

    • Why does he love her? What is unique about their relationship?
    • Why is he reluctant? what is it that is making him doubt his decision to go back? that seems like something you could flesh out?
    • Can you make the primitive email somehow connected to their relationships, so what i mean is, its something connected to their past, which is why they’re being haunted?

     

    Overall, i actually really liked it, and would watch that movie.

     

    cheers.

    Jonathon

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  3. Posted: May 4, 2020In:

    After being built as a cyborg by a fellow vampire, a young woman must race against time to kill vampires who tries to invade her town so that she can be human again.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    INTENTION: must kill vampires so she can be human again?? OBSTACLE: vampires invading town/race against time. After she is built as a cyborg by a fellow vampire, a young woman must kill the vampires invading her town? (because if she doesn?t? she won?t be human again??) My notes: I?d get rid of ?triRead more

    INTENTION: must kill vampires so she can be human again??

    OBSTACLE: vampires invading town/race against time.

    After she is built as a cyborg by a fellow vampire, a young woman must kill the vampires invading her town? (because if she doesn?t? she won?t be human again??)

    My notes:

    I?d get rid of ?tries to?.?

    I like the time limit/ticking clock. Great element for a concept – but not very clear why she?s racing against time so she can be human again.?

    Intention and obstacle are there – fine.?

    There?s an inciting incident – not sure if it?s the right one though.

    Everything is here – it?s just not clear why.

    Why is she racing against time?

    Why does defeating vampires make her human again?

    How necessary is the ?being built into a cyborg by a fellow vampire?. Isn?t the inciting incident – ?vampires take the town?.

    How about?

    When vampires invade her hometown, a cyborg-vampire must defeat them before sunrise, in order to become human again.?

    That last part – again, not sure how how? why? How does a cyborg-vampire become human again? Perhaps she has to retrieve a talisman or something?

    I dunno – perhaps it?s fine as it is.?

    Hope this helps in some way.

    Good luck!

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