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(REVISED) When his mother is inexplicably resurrected after her ?end-of-life? party, a Christian grief counselor convinces his family it?s a miracle by hiding the truth ? she?s returned with a growing bloodlust.
Oops is right about the mother-son angle! However, in my defense that may have happened because the logline lacks the meat of the story and what makes it a true family conflict. >> why he would spin her return as miraculous. Along with the abomination comment, this conflict of miracle vs monstRead more
Oops is right about the mother-son angle! However, in my defense that may have happened because the logline lacks the meat of the story and what makes it a true family conflict.
>> why he would spin her return as miraculous.
Along with the abomination comment, this conflict of miracle vs monster or whatever can be sharper. That the family needs anyone to say it’s a miracle is odd. Or if they’re extreme Christians, perhaps the concern is more about personal taste as such characters are overplayed right now.
>> a conflict of interest
That’s before she dies. When she returns, what exactly is the religious issue for him?? At this moment, I can picture? the broadstrokes of a story where a? non-religious family deals with Mom’s resurrection and bloodlust (including? one keeping secrets, at least temporarily, from the rest). Where it gets fuzzy is the Christian part.
See lessIs this a valid log line? Or is it too vague and too long?
1: Who is the lead character? 2: What event sets the lead character in motion? 3: What is the goal of the lead character? 4: What is standing in his or her way? There are some elements missing from your logline. Your lead character seems to be "Investigators", Not, a nosey paranormal investigator, nRead more
1: Who is the lead character?
2: What event sets the lead character in motion?
3: What is the goal of the lead character?
4: What is standing in his or her way?
There are some elements missing from your logline. Your lead character seems to be “Investigators”, Not, a nosey paranormal investigator, not an atheist news reporter… Investigator? For an insurance company? For a gossip magazine? A police investigator? An FBI agent? A hard-boiled detective? Give us something the reader can picture in their head.
Also, what does ‘a place feared’ mean? A graveyard? A spiders den? An eerie cave? A Miley Cyrus concert? I have no idea what ‘a place feared’ looks like on screen. Again give the reader a mental picture.
You also haven’t told us what specific event set’s the lead character into motion? Instead, you talk about ‘past malicious activity’, but how does that relate to being possessed by a stillborn baby?
Finally, you give us no hints on how a stillborn baby can possess anyone? You might want to give us a word or two, to at least hint at how a stillborn baby could possess anyone.
In the end, the logline should answer the 4 questions up above and leave the reader wanting more, It should not lead to confusion and more questions.
Good luck with your story, it sounds interesting. Everything I have mentioned relates to the logline, and has nothing to do with whether the story itself is good or bad.
See lessIs this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?
>>>He must untainted his name because he didn?t commit the crimes committed. Okay.? And that should be clear in the logline.? The stakes are personal:? it's more than just the family name; his objective goal is exoneration, to prove his innocence.
>>>He must untainted his name because he didn?t commit the crimes committed.
Okay.? And that should be clear in the logline.? The stakes are personal:? it’s more than just the family name; his objective goal is exoneration, to prove his innocence.
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