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Is this a valid log line? Or is it too vague and too long?
1: Who is the lead character? 2: What event sets the lead character in motion? 3: What is the goal of the lead character? 4: What is standing in his or her way? There are some elements missing from your logline. Your lead character seems to be "Investigators", Not, a nosey paranormal investigator, nRead more
1: Who is the lead character?
2: What event sets the lead character in motion?
3: What is the goal of the lead character?
4: What is standing in his or her way?
There are some elements missing from your logline. Your lead character seems to be “Investigators”, Not, a nosey paranormal investigator, not an atheist news reporter… Investigator? For an insurance company? For a gossip magazine? A police investigator? An FBI agent? A hard-boiled detective? Give us something the reader can picture in their head.
Also, what does ‘a place feared’ mean? A graveyard? A spiders den? An eerie cave? A Miley Cyrus concert? I have no idea what ‘a place feared’ looks like on screen. Again give the reader a mental picture.
You also haven’t told us what specific event set’s the lead character into motion? Instead, you talk about ‘past malicious activity’, but how does that relate to being possessed by a stillborn baby?
Finally, you give us no hints on how a stillborn baby can possess anyone? You might want to give us a word or two, to at least hint at how a stillborn baby could possess anyone.
In the end, the logline should answer the 4 questions up above and leave the reader wanting more, It should not lead to confusion and more questions.
Good luck with your story, it sounds interesting. Everything I have mentioned relates to the logline, and has nothing to do with whether the story itself is good or bad.
See lessIs this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?
>>>He must untainted his name because he didn?t commit the crimes committed. Okay.? And that should be clear in the logline.? The stakes are personal:? it's more than just the family name; his objective goal is exoneration, to prove his innocence.
>>>He must untainted his name because he didn?t commit the crimes committed.
Okay.? And that should be clear in the logline.? The stakes are personal:? it’s more than just the family name; his objective goal is exoneration, to prove his innocence.
See lessAfter a succesful hotel owner and sunnyboy is infected by a strange virus that turns him into a killing and raping beast when he smells women who have their fertile days, he leaves his job and family and moves to a mountain cabin in order to not hurt anyone, but things get complicated when a young female student seeks shelter from a snowstorm at his cabin.
I may be wrong here since I'm kind of new to this but I feel this log line is too wordy and exceeds more than 25 words as per a log line should be. I do like the premise -- I'm a suckered for any type of virus story.
I may be wrong here since I’m kind of new to this but I feel this log line is too wordy and exceeds more than 25 words as per a log line should be.
I do like the premise — I’m a suckered for any type of virus story.
See less