1. Posted: March 4, 2019In:

    Revision 2: After a miraculous survival of a meteor shower, an elite leader must get his team to the engine room of a high speed moving train, loaded with flesh eating demons, before it crashes.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    As in Richiev's example, you can scrap the meteor shower. It doesn't seem to have any bearing on the story. Also noted in Richiev's version is a purpose for stopping the train "so they and the survivors can escape". There are stakes and this makes the story compelling. I think in yours (at the momenRead more

    As in Richiev’s example, you can scrap the meteor shower. It doesn’t seem to have any bearing on the story. Also noted in Richiev’s version is a purpose for stopping the train “so they and the survivors can escape”. There are stakes and this makes the story compelling. I think in yours (at the moment) I’m not sure I care about whether they win or lose. I need to want them to win!

    This elite leader… can you give us more information about him? What’s his journey?

    Is this team conveniently on the train at the start? Or do they come along to kill the demons?

    Fwiw – I really like the idea of setting an action/horror film on a train. Low production value too.

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  2. Posted: February 28, 2019In:

    After a moving train is hit by a strange meteor, an elite unit must survive the flesh eating demons that stand between them and the Engine Car, where they must stop the train from crashing. (revised edition round 1)

    Richiev Singularity

    I think the second half of the logline is very solid and an improvement over the original. However, to follow up on what Mikepedley85 said: Film is a visual medium. Any meteor that would be visually impressive on screen would destroy the train and leave a huge crater. Any meteor that would not destrRead more

    I think the second half of the logline is very solid and an improvement over the original.

    However, to follow up on what Mikepedley85 said:
    Film is a visual medium. Any meteor that would be visually impressive on screen would destroy the train and leave a huge crater.
    Any meteor that would not destroy the train would be the size of a pea?and go, ‘plink’ and not be visually impressive.

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  3. Posted: February 21, 2019In:

    When a streamer and his group of friends bully a stranger off a multiplayer game, they are targeted by him in real life with his own game, the streamer is left two steps behind and is in a race to stop the killings over the next 48 hours. Working Title: Stream (c)

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    When a streamer and his group of friends bully a stranger off a multiplayer game, they are targeted by him in real life.Agreed, this is a nice I know What You Did Last Log-In?premise.with his own gameWhat do you mean? What kind of game is his? (Real-life game I suppose. A hunt?) You should give someRead more

    When a streamer and his group of friends bully a stranger off a multiplayer game, they are targeted by him in real life.

    Agreed, this is a nice I know What You Did Last Log-In?premise.

    with his own game

    What do you mean? What kind of game is his? (Real-life game I suppose. A hunt?) You should give some hint about what his vengeful game is.

    …the streamer is left two steps behind and is in a race to stop the killings over the next 48 hours.

    I didn’t get this part at all. Two steps behind whom? What killings?

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