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A blacklisted 50s American screenwriter sets out to write the perfect script to win back his job, but an alien fungus slowly dissolves his ability to tell fact from fiction.
I kind of agree with what the others said. Depending on the reason he was blacklisted, he may not be able to get his job back even if he had the "perfect script" (like the other reviewer already mentioned), assuming that even exists. You protagonist and goal is clear, which is good, but for me, theRead more
I kind of agree with what the others said. Depending on the reason he was blacklisted, he may not be able to get his job back even if he had the “perfect script” (like the other reviewer already mentioned), assuming that even exists.
You protagonist and goal is clear, which is good, but for me, the issue lies more in the obstacle.
See lessOffered a drug at a high end party, a woman?s eyes slowly open to another dimension, she seeks remedy as she desperately attempts to reclaim her own sanity.
I do see a lot of potential here. This other dimension offers a lot of possibilities. Maybe it would be too much for this logline, but I would assume she would want to find the one who gave her this drug? Perhaps he's the only one with the remedy? Why did he offer her this drug? Aside from the remedRead more
I do see a lot of potential here. This other dimension offers a lot of possibilities. Maybe it would be too much for this logline, but I would assume she would want to find the one who gave her this drug? Perhaps he’s the only one with the remedy? Why did he offer her this drug? Aside from the remedy, does she also want to exact revenge on the person who offered her the drug?
I’d also like to know how this dimension is driving her insane. Maybe say something like it’s a nightmare-filled dimension or something.
See less?When an outspoken minister offends a pagan tribe, he and his missionaries are forced prove the power of their religion by spending twenty four hours deep within a cursed area of the tribe?s forest where no one has ever lasted past the night!?
The? commercial success of a horror flick is contingent on the nature of the danger the characters face, the quality of the evil that makes it so horrible? -- and so interesting. Therefore, the story hook in the logline has to feature the horror.? It doesn't have to give away every detail.? But it dRead more
The? commercial success of a horror flick is contingent on the nature of the danger the characters face, the quality of the evil that makes it so horrible? — and so interesting. Therefore, the story hook in the logline has to feature the horror.? It doesn’t have to give away every detail.? But it does have to suggest that the script? is going to deliver the goods, that is is going to have a horror that? is different, unique from other horror stories.? I? am not yet persuaded from this logline that the script delivers the goods because I have no general sense of what the horror is that the missionary will encounter.? Will he just disappear? Or die?? And if he dies,? how?? From a viral infection?? From a strange beast?? From tribal ghosts?? From boredom?
Furthermore, the objective goal of the missionary protagonist needs to be clarified.? ?And the stakes.? ?What’s the point of proving the power of his religion?? Isn’t it to convert the tribe?? Therefore, isn’t that his objective goal?? Isn’t the ordeal in the jungle the means to that end?? ?The stakes are that if he can survive the night, then the the tribe will convert.
fwiw
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