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  1. Posted: June 27, 2022In: Short Film

    Year 2000 hopefuls are bystanders as life throws cruel blow that will determine their once thought perfect futures.

    Lucas McDowall Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 2:57 pm

    I love the premise but maybe try flipping the placements of some of the points, possibly: 'When life throws him a curveball, the 2000's hopeful must determine how to counter the cruel blow to save his perfect future' In saying that, I am unclear of what his perfect future is, nor do I know what theRead more

    I love the premise but maybe try flipping the placements of some of the points, possibly:

    ‘When life throws him a curveball, the 2000’s hopeful must determine how to counter the cruel blow to save his perfect future’

    In saying that, I am unclear of what his perfect future is, nor do I know what the cruel blow is.

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  2. Posted: June 23, 2022In: Drama

    When confronted with violence in his new home, the son of a buddhist monk must defend himself while still staying true to his beliefs

    Mark Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 2:47 pm

    Maybe do some research into the technicalities of Buddhism as a way to defeat the bully, maybe as a subversion of the traditional pacifist Buddhist, he defeats the bully with cunning instead of moralising.

    Maybe do some research into the technicalities of Buddhism as a way to defeat the bully, maybe as a subversion of the traditional pacifist Buddhist, he defeats the bully with cunning instead of moralising.

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  3. Posted: June 27, 2022In: Romance

    When an introverted man sees a woman in red in the building across from him, he must stumble on a foolish quest on a dating app to find her, but she isn’t what she seems.

    Jeremy Palazzolo Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 2:07 pm

    Hey Marcelo, Very interesting concept, I think that the logline is a little longwinded and could be refined a little more. Perhaps "in the building across from him" could be cut unless it is entirely crucial to the plot and the wording for "he must stumble on a foolish quest on a dating app to findRead more

    Hey Marcelo,

    Very interesting concept, I think that the logline is a little longwinded and could be refined a little more.

    Perhaps “in the building across from him” could be cut unless it is entirely crucial to the plot and the wording for “he must stumble on a foolish quest on a dating app to find her” could be worded better.

    Cheers.

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