Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
After having broken up with her partner, a woman overhears a young couple that is falling apart and attempts to save their relationship.
Feel like you could really streamline this logline through better structure and just tightening up certain sentences a little bit. When a heartbroken woman overhears a young couple's bitter argument, she must attempt to reconcile their relationship. 17 words as opposed to your 23. Could now look intRead more
Feel like you could really streamline this logline through better structure and just tightening up certain sentences a little bit.
When a heartbroken woman overhears a young couple’s bitter argument, she must attempt to reconcile their relationship.
17 words as opposed to your 23. Could now look into the real reason she wants to do this, is it to restore her faith in love, to tackle her own heartache and gain catharsis?
See lessWhen the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids, a flawed father must seek answers to the reasoning behind his loss while mistakenly neglecting his daughter in the process
You might want to reconsider the first line. (up to the coma) I am not quite sure what you mean by, "When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids..." The way the line is written makes its meaning unclear. Here is just a guess: ----- "When his wife is killed by androids, a flawedRead more
You might want to reconsider the first line. (up to the coma)
I am not quite sure what you mean by, “When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids…”
The way the line is written makes its meaning unclear. Here is just a guess:
See less—–
“When his wife is killed by androids, a flawed father seeks answers to the loss, while mistakenly neglecting his daughter.”
—–
Anyway, a little re-write with some clarity will help the logline get across what is clearly an interesting story concept.
When a charismatic pick pocket acquires the bag of a world leader along with top secret information, he must risk making enemies in order to leak the information to the world.
You should tell us what information the lead character discovers so the reader will know the stakes.
You should tell us what information the lead character discovers so the reader will know the stakes.
See less