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  1. Posted: June 1, 2022In: Horror

    After her daughter dies unexpectedly, a toy maker decides to turn her into a robot doll that becomes a serial killer.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2022 at 1:51 pm

    This concept might be a little too close to Childs Play (Chucky) Chucky used magic, and you use robotics, but both are just ways to get past the first 10 pages and into the story about a rampaging serial killer doll. That doesn't mean this can't work, it just needs that one extra thing to set the stRead more

    This concept might be a little too close to Childs Play (Chucky)

    Chucky used magic, and you use robotics, but both are just ways to get past the first 10 pages and into the story about a rampaging serial killer doll.

    That doesn’t mean this can’t work, it just needs that one extra thing to set the story apart. like for instance perhaps the doll is actually protecting the father from something.

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  2. Posted: May 31, 2022In: SciFi

    In the aftermath of a nuclear war, a young man must defend his town from an alien invasion before they can destroy everything that remains of his life.

    Philippe Le Miere Logliner
    Added an answer on June 4, 2022 at 7:12 am

    "a young man" = protagonist "defend his town from an alien invasion" = goal "before they can destroy everything that remains of his life" = story stakes Like the simplicity of this logline. Expand on main character. Identify a psychological trait, by labeling the young man either: courageous or timiRead more

    “a young man” = protagonist
    “defend his town from an alien invasion” = goal
    “before they can destroy everything that remains of his life” = story stakes

    Like the simplicity of this logline.

    Expand on main character. Identify a psychological trait, by labeling the young man either:
    courageous or timid,
    adventurous or cautious,
    what about Impassioned or Restrained?

    Notice how this gives character, to the main character, suggestive of a potential character arc, and the possibility of our hero growing, out of this imminent conflict.

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  3. Posted: May 29, 2022In: Comedy

    A real estate agent trying to reconnect with his estranged sister, learns that she is the leader of an underground society of clowns caught in a civil war of ideals. Now he must choose whether to get her out of the life, or suit up in pancake makeup of his own.

    JTDallas Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 2, 2022 at 2:38 am

    This could be intriguing. But before I would review the logline or offer suggestions, I have one question: Why is he a real estate agent? How will that add to his story?

    This could be intriguing. But before I would review the logline or offer suggestions, I have one question: Why is he a real estate agent? How will that add to his story?

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