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After his workaholic mom is send to work at their native island, Alex (11) will live his first summer at the gransparents village.
The word 'His' seems to come out of nowhere, I get the gist of what you are saying in the logline but it is still written in a slightly confusing way. When her workaholic mom... (So we are talking about a girl young enough to still be living with her mom) His son Alex (11) (This is the part that conRead more
The word ‘His’ seems to come out of nowhere, I get the gist of what you are saying in the logline but it is still written in a slightly confusing way.
When her workaholic mom… (So we are talking about a girl young enough to still be living with her mom)
His son Alex (11) (This is the part that confuses me, who is the ‘His’ that has a son?)
See lessA former trouble maker, and a troubled group of his childhood friends gather for an extravagant treasure hunt and to solve years old issues. The best friend of a girl he bullied, tries her best to stop him.
Small question from my side, if at the beggining of the movie he is allready a former trouble maker what is the character learning in the movie? It will be better to point out the characteristic of the protagonist that will evolve during the story that the one that won't change.
Small question from my side, if at the beggining of the movie he is allready a former trouble maker what is the character learning in the movie? It will be better to point out the characteristic of the protagonist that will evolve during the story that the one that won’t change.
See lessIn the near future, a young genius escapes a moonbase where a madman secretly enslaves scientists in his plan to wipe out life on Earth but when no one believes him, he alone must find a way to destroy the base and free the other scientists.
It's a cool, dramatic premise. I don't get a feel for the character yet, though. "Young genius" is not enough to promise an engaging character for me. What personal challenges does the character face? Also, the survival of mankind is only a valid stake if there is someone close to the MC that we carRead more
It’s a cool, dramatic premise. I don’t get a feel for the character yet, though.
“Young genius” is not enough to promise an engaging character for me.
What personal challenges does the character face?
Also, the survival of mankind is only a valid stake if there is someone close to the MC that we care enough for to understand why he does it, other than out of self-preservation. This is why so many disaster movies are centred around families and/or couples.
Finally, I would prefer to see a logline following our formula, starting with ‘when’.
See lessRight now I struggle to see a clear trigger incident for the story, which means there may be a lot of exposition and backstory.