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An American record producer helps a French pop singer who is a one hit wonder and faded into obscurity by helping her to come to America and gain success.
Consider the following: What’s the producer's arc? Looking for more than just a pack mule for this singer. Consider strengthening the America or Bust premise by finding a compelling reason why a French singer would risk whatever to seek fortune in American. Examples: “A once-famous OR down-and-out rRead more
Consider the following:
What’s the producer’s arc? Looking for more than just a pack mule for this singer.
Consider strengthening the America or Bust premise by finding a compelling reason why a French singer would risk whatever to seek fortune in American.
Examples:
“A once-famous OR down-and-out record producer [comeback GOAL]…” “… French one-hit-wonder …”.
Both parties can find inspiration in each other for their comeback/seek fortune goal.
This is your story, hope this helps, take care.
See lessA law abiding father turns himself in after conspiring to help jewel thieves to pay for his son’s vital medical treatment.
I am not sure what this story is about, The story begins with the father turning himself in after a jewel heist. Is the story about the trial? Is it about the Jewel thieves attempting to shut up the father? If so that should be in the logline.
I am not sure what this story is about, The story begins with the father turning himself in after a jewel heist. Is the story about the trial? Is it about the Jewel thieves attempting to shut up the father? If so that should be in the logline.
See lessA stubborn, inquisitive anthropologist believes an unidentified body found by the NYC police is a Neanderthal, but her investigation is quickly and ruthlessly suppressed by a secretive organization with links to the ultra-rich.
Great logline. But a couple of comments... Would like to know how the anthropologist is connected to the NYPD. Was she hired by? Is she working with an NYPD detective? Stubborn and inquisitive are good descriptors but don't seem to carry any weight. Are anthropologists normally apathetic and lethargRead more
Great logline. But a couple of comments…
Would like to know how the anthropologist is connected to the NYPD. Was she hired by? Is she working with an NYPD detective?
Stubborn and inquisitive are good descriptors but don’t seem to carry any weight. Are anthropologists normally apathetic and lethargic? Is he/she stubborn and inquisitive in face of the disinterest of the NYPD? What is the character contrast that will create conflict in the story?
Don’t like the word quickly in this context. Doesn’t add anything to it. I think it still reads well with: “…her investigation is ruthlessly suppressed by…”
Nice job, though.
See less