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When children discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain where the devil imprisoned God for ages, Buddha teams up with each prophet to liberate God from an age-old hypocritical mindset to engender recession and a stress-free psychic existence.
This appears to be two separate events: 1. “When children discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain” 2. “Buddha teams up with each prophet” Who are these children - prophets? If so, I would state to link these two events. Example: “When the child prophets of Buddha discover a catastroRead more
This appears to be two separate events:
1. “When children discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain”
2. “Buddha teams up with each prophet”
Who are these children – prophets? If so, I would state to link these two events.
Example:
“When the child prophets of Buddha discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain, Buddha teams up to liberate God from an age-old hypocritical mindset to engender recession and a stress-free psychic existence”
Suggestion: “every human brain” sounds like a vast wasteland and hard to envision what this would look like on screen, maybe you can start by changing one influential person to bring this premise closer to home?
Also, I didn’t mention “devil imprisoned God for ages” to keep the reader from saying “why now” after all these ages? I wanted the impression of these children’s discovery as a “now” concept.
Take care.
See lessA grieving father and his teenage daughter teams up with four other cadets to stop androids from invading Earth from an evil emperor.
Sounds cool, consider the following to strengthen your logline: 1. Why a father and daughter team to save the world? What’s makes them qualified? 2. You mentioned cadets, what kind of cadets are you referring to, and can your protag father being linked as their leader or teacher – hope you see whereRead more
Sounds cool, consider the following to strengthen your logline:
1. Why a father and daughter team to save the world? What’s makes them qualified?
2. You mentioned cadets, what kind of cadets are you referring to, and can your protag father being linked as their leader or teacher – hope you see where I’m going with this.
3. Who is your baddie (emperor) and what is his goal? Think about all the Sci-Fi shows we’ve seen, what makes this emperor and his minions unique?
Keep going!
See lessA young boy is taken away from his father, His mom takes him across the country, and cuts off his relationship with his father. He gets raped by his mother, and he is trapped in the attic all by himself he must find a way to escape.
Consider the following: What is the psychology of this mother that forces her to kidnap her son? What’s her destination and goal? What must the father do to save his son? Take care.
Consider the following:
What is the psychology of this mother that forces her to kidnap her son? What’s her destination and goal? What must the father do to save his son?
Take care.
See less