Genres – Page 220 – Logline It!

Posted: July 17, 2021In: Comedy

When he experiences an unexpected sensation in his nether regions during a massage from another man, George is forced to confront his own sexuality and insecurities.

Mike Pedley Singularity

Added an answer on July 19, 2021 at 6:33 pm

The End. Specifically, what happens? Visually, what are we watching on screen. All the action is happening inside the character's head. We don't need to know his name's George. It takes up valuable real estate in a logline. Instead give us something about WHO he is. Check out my blog post on writingRead more

The End.

Specifically, what happens? Visually, what are we watching on screen. All the action is happening inside the character’s head.

We don’t need to know his name’s George. It takes up valuable real estate in a logline. Instead give us something about WHO he is. Check out my blog post on writing characters in a logline for advice: http://lefttowrite.co.uk/loglines-character/

What’s his goal? Oh and making a decision about whether he’s gay or not is not a goal. Again, it happens inside the character’s head. It must be an objective goal. In a comedy, it could be something like ask the guy he now realises he fancies on a date. Or come out to his very conservative family. Either way, it has to be something we can watch.

I feel like the inciting incident needs more work here too. I know what you’re going for, but I think it’s not strong enough motivation yet. I want this to be more like him accidentally kissing his best (male) friend while drunk and the film is him dealing with the consequences. I want a bigger moment!

Food for thought and I hope this helps.

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Posted: July 17, 2021In: Family

An aspiring teen screenwriter on the autism spectrum, battling discouragement from peers and writer’s block, is determined to write a blockbuster movie and submit it to a Hollywood screenwriting contest after she meets one of her original characters based on a dream she had one night — an intelligent robot cat.

Mike Pedley Singularity

Added an answer on July 19, 2021 at 6:23 pm

Ok... so she's currently battling discouragement... what will she be battling (besides that) while she writes the movie? What is stopping her achieving her goal? What will stand in her way? In other words, what will sustain the 90mins+ runtime? What will this look like visually? Film is a visual medRead more

Ok… so she’s currently battling discouragement… what will she be battling (besides that) while she writes the movie? What is stopping her achieving her goal? What will stand in her way? In other words, what will sustain the 90mins+ runtime?

What will this look like visually? Film is a visual medium and at present, I’m struggling to see anything other than a girl sitting at a computer writing.

While the robot cat dream idea is cool, it doesn’t actually make any difference to the plot. She still has to write the screenplay, right? So is it relevant to the logline?

Re: her goal – is it only to submit her script? It’s a weak goal and could be more exciting. Submitting to a competition is fine, but the problem is that she is no longer in charge after that. It’s a waiting game. Why not have her proactively trying to get funding and see her actually making the film rather than just writing it. With that in mind, maybe bring it all down to make it more achievable – have her want to make her first short film.

The film she writes must state something about her, the themes, etc. etc. What does a robot cat have to do with anything?

Just food for thought and I hope it helps.

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