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An ex-junky survives a plane crash before losing his company to the FEDS, but to stop the tailspin, he’ll sacrifice his life for his family’s future.
The events leading up to the catalyst are super interesting but the Goal/Action is very vague. What does "sacrifice his life" mean? Is he taking on the federal government to get his company back? Is he joining the mafia to get money for his family? Is he performing seppuku to save his families honorRead more
The events leading up to the catalyst are super interesting but the Goal/Action is very vague. What does “sacrifice his life” mean? Is he taking on the federal government to get his company back? Is he joining the mafia to get money for his family? Is he performing seppuku to save his families honor? Try focusing less on the catalyst events and more on his goal and why it’s important for his family’s future.
Example:
After a series of tragic events, a recovering addict and loyal father must take on rogue federal agents to uncover a conspiracy that threatens the happiness and safety of his family.
I hope this is helpful! 😀
See lessAn entitled alien prince teams up with a ditzy teenage girl to help him must travel back in time to alter future events in order to save his planet.
Fun idea! I'd love to see descriptions of the protagonists, especially if they are an unlikely pair who are forced together because of circumstances out of their control. For example: An exuberantly loyal alien prince and a sullen, despondent teenage girl A desperate alien prince and a ditzy teenageRead more
Fun idea! I’d love to see descriptions of the protagonists, especially if they are an unlikely pair who are forced together because of circumstances out of their control. For example:
An exuberantly loyal alien prince and a sullen, despondent teenage girl
A desperate alien prince and a ditzy teenage valley girl
An entitled young alien prince and a poverty-stricken teenage girl
If you already have the characters flushed out, just add the appropriate descriptive words. If you don’t have ideas of who the characters are yet, work on that first and it will inevitably make the logline more interesting.
Hope this is helpful 🙂
See lessA reckless fourteen-year-old aeronaut plans on breaking out his orphan keeper from a foreign prison using a magic hot air balloon.
This is a really intriguing idea! The term "his orphan keeper" is confusing. It's not a term really used in English so can you clarify who this character is and what their relationship to the protagonist is? Is the orphan keeper the 14 year old's legal guardian, mother figure, father figure? Or areRead more
This is a really intriguing idea!
The term “his orphan keeper” is confusing. It’s not a term really used in English so can you clarify who this character is and what their relationship to the protagonist is? Is the orphan keeper the 14 year old’s legal guardian, mother figure, father figure? Or are they the person who runs the orphanage? If that’s the case you could use something like this:
An orphaned young aeronaut is thrilled to find his hot air balloon has mystical powers and plots to use this magic in a daring attempt to break his loving father figure out of prison.
I hope this is helpful!
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