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When former burglar Max’ girlfriend gets pregnant, Max says yes to one last job in order to give his son a rich life. But surprised by the pregnant resident Anna whose water has just broken, Max finds out that money doesn’t always lead to a happy life.
"When he is surprised by a pregnant woman at the villa he is robbing, a poor burglar out to secure a future for his family, helps the woman give birth even though it may lose him a million dollars."
“When he is surprised by a pregnant woman at the villa he is robbing, a poor burglar out to secure a future for his family, helps the woman give birth even though it may lose him a million dollars.”
See lessA young woman successfully flees from her stalker ex-boyfriend but, after he kills himself and leaves her his sizable estate, she must decide whether to take the money and risk the wrath of the man’s surviving family, who believe the money is rightfully theirs.
I have to admit I am having trouble coming up with a logline for this. In spite of being based on a true story, the lead still needs a goal, and I am not sure what that is, so it is difficult to try a logline for this. ----- "When her stalker ex-boyfriend commits suicide, an abused survivor reluctanRead more
I have to admit I am having trouble coming up with a logline for this. In spite of being based on a true story, the lead still needs a goal, and I am not sure what that is, so it is difficult to try a logline for this.
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“When her stalker ex-boyfriend commits suicide, an abused survivor reluctantly goes to the will reading in spite of having to face her ex’s vindictive family.”
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However, the logline still needs that ‘one extra thing’.
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict. Protag: wealthy businessman Antag: businessman’s ‘shame’ of who he is Conflict: his ‘struggle with who’ he is Grows: unsuccessfully fighting hisRead more
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.
Protag: wealthy businessman
Antag: businessman’s ‘shame’ of who he is
Conflict: his ‘struggle with who’ he is
Grows: unsuccessfully fighting his demons until halfway story he finds out that he is not alone in this. By excepting what makes his son tick, he must accept what makes him tick.
Inciting incident: It is in the middle of your logline and personally I think that is fine. If you put it upfront it would somehow translate to: “after a homosexual discovers his son also leads a double life,…”
The word “only” has two purposes:
(1) Showing that it takes a lot for the protag to try to really start growing.
(2) Making clear that there isn’t really an inciting – him discovering that his son is gay – incident at the start of your story, but (I would say) halfway.
But if you cut that word, I would still get both those points.
“manages to” is not needed either. Sure “manages to” stand for “the time” his struggle takes. But we as humans know that a struggle always takes time. Then again, if you do not use it, our feeling of “why do we want to see this movie if we already know he’s going to succeed to find ‘inner peace” is going to be too strong, reading the logline. So in this logline construction, I would keep it in.
Also, get rid of the inactive “ing” forms.
Furthermore, you would say ending with “his son struggles with the same conflict”, you just buried the lead. But in this case, exactly this works. Because only by recognizing they are somehow the “same”, they can fight their demons and accept who they are.
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality only after discovering that his son is struggling with the same conflict.
could become:
A wealthy businessman who leads a double life manages to accept his homosexuality after he discovers his son struggles with the same conflict.
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