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  1. Posted: January 2, 2021In: Horror

    A disgruntled TV producer participate in a deadly game show at his workplace which is cursed with deadly spirits.

    ERRoot Penpusher
    Added an answer on January 3, 2021 at 3:53 am

    Interesting. Is he 'being on" it? It may sound stronger by saying "participating in". Is the producer cursed or the show? You may want to consider swapping "who" with "which". Sounds interesting.

    Interesting. Is he ‘being on” it? It may sound stronger by saying “participating in”. Is the producer cursed or the show? You may want to consider swapping “who” with “which”. Sounds interesting.

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  2. Posted: January 1, 2021In: SciFi

    After earning a work-for-trade job in a high-tech senior home, a self-absorbed grad student must manage his assigned resident’s social media profile. Only this account does more than just posts likes and retweets, it also keeps the resident alive.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on January 2, 2021 at 6:34 am

    What is standing in the way of the lead character accomplishing his goal? This logline goes over the setup to the story but not what the lead character must do about it. Nor does it go over the dramatic conflict of the story. If the lead character's goal is to keep his resident alive, then there musRead more

    What is standing in the way of the lead character accomplishing his goal?
    This logline goes over the setup to the story but not what the lead character must do about it.
    Nor does it go over the dramatic conflict of the story.

    If the lead character’s goal is to keep his resident alive, then there must be someone or something who is trying to stop the resident from staying alive.

    I think this is an interesting concept, and definitely something I personally haven’t seen before, but it is missing the conflict, so I am not seeing the story. Because story is conflict.

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  3. Posted: January 1, 2021In: Superhero

    A group of high school students gains superpowers after having a freak accident get revenge on their bullies.

    Odie Samurai
    Added an answer on January 1, 2021 at 4:20 am

    Cool, try changing "freak accident" to your version of how these high schoolers attained superpowers. Example: "After escaping an alien abduction beam, a group of high schoolers seeks revenge on their bully tormentors using their newfound superpowers" Happy New Year!

    Cool, try changing “freak accident” to your version of how these high schoolers attained superpowers.

    Example:
    “After escaping an alien abduction beam, a group of high schoolers seeks revenge on their bully tormentors using their newfound superpowers”

    Happy New Year!

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