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When his daughter murders her boyfriend in self defense, a teacher must support her on her criminal case.
Things that make me go "hmm". Why would this dad/teacher need to protect his daughter if it was self-defense? Why would he need to cover it up? It's already "too late" - a murder has been committed.
Things that make me go “hmm”.
See lessWhy would this dad/teacher need to protect his daughter if it was self-defense? Why would he need to cover it up? It’s already “too late” – a murder has been committed.
When a Latina student travels to the US to work at a resort during her college’s vacations, she is threatened with salary and staff cuts for the off-season, she must to fight to keep her job and generate extra money to recoup her investment.
She's only travelled there for the vacation season, right? So, since she'll be heading back to college in the off-season, why is she threatened with salary cuts and being fired when she's not even going to be there? She doesn't need her job off-season, she'll be in school! What investment? (The bitRead more
She’s only travelled there for the vacation season, right? So, since she’ll be heading back to college in the off-season, why is she threatened with salary cuts and being fired when she’s not even going to be there? She doesn’t need her job off-season, she’ll be in school!
What investment? (The bit of text you’ve added below is fundamental to understanding her investment, but you might not have the opportunity to explain that to a reader).
See lessAfter her brother’s death, a college student must track down someone who created a deadly video streaming online who kills anyone who watches it.
Most of your loglines have the same issue. They are simply an inciting incident. That's it! It's incredibly frustrating to constantly write the same feedback over and over without it ever seemingly making any difference. If you want to learn, then great, let's learn together as a community of loglinRead more
Most of your loglines have the same issue. They are simply an inciting incident. That’s it!
It’s incredibly frustrating to constantly write the same feedback over and over without it ever seemingly making any difference. If you want to learn, then great, let’s learn together as a community of logliners. If you don’t want to learn, then expect people to stop reviewing and you’re on your own.
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