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An obnoxious hummingbird and her time-traveling hijinks must learn that her misdeed to others have cataclysmic consequences.
Loglines are about the action in the here and now, in the present tense of the story -- not the lesson to be learned... sometime... eventually. Why? Because the struggle stretching out 90-110 minutes is what sells tickets, not the lesson finally learned in a few seconds of insight and recognition inRead more
Loglines are about the action in the here and now, in the present tense of the story — not the lesson to be learned… sometime… eventually. Why? Because the struggle stretching out 90-110 minutes is what sells tickets, not the lesson finally learned in a few seconds of insight and recognition in the 90th minute.
The ongoing action line, not the momentary lesson beat, is what movie producers want to see in a logline.
And what does the bird want anyway? What is her specific objective goal that generates the hijinks? What is her specific character flaw (in a word or short phrase) that leads to its misdeeds?
fwiw
See lessThe Connect
Joker2008, check out the "Formula" link in the header "https://loglineit.com/howto/" on how to construct your login in a manner that the community and I can help. Sounds interesting, please reply with your updated logline. Take care.
Joker2008, check out the “Formula” link in the header “https://loglineit.com/howto/” on how to construct your login in a manner that the community and I can help.
Sounds interesting, please reply with your updated logline.
Take care.
See lessTo thwart the pain of diaspora and disillusionment, a local Asian-American college student pounces into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, extremists, and violent pop-culture fanatics.
Maybe more specific pain of... loneliness(?) Diaspora is not a pain. And reduce antagonists to 2 or 3 (Max) To thwart the pain of lonliness (goal), an Asian-American college student (protagonist)pounces (action) into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, and violent pop-culture fanatics (antRead more
Maybe more specific pain of… loneliness(?) Diaspora is not a pain. And reduce antagonists to 2 or 3 (Max)
To thwart the pain of lonliness (goal), an Asian-American college student (protagonist)pounces (action) into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, and violent pop-culture fanatics (antagonists) .
But what’s at stake?
A young man (protagonist) leads (action) his oddball family (antagonists) and their real-estate-development business (goal) following a securities-fraud fiasco that put the father in jail (stake).
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