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After the death of his twin sister, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world of denial. Taking on a mythic adventure, the ensuing clash of values with local tyrant businessman, resolves a 40-year-old mystery at the heart of his communities suffering.
In this fantasy world, what form does the tyrant businessman take? Does the antagonist become the king of the fantasy land, an invading warlord, or an evil dragon that must be slain? What does the conflict look like, what are the actions your lead character must take to achieve his goal? "After hisRead more
In this fantasy world, what form does the tyrant businessman take?
Does the antagonist become the king of the fantasy land, an invading warlord, or an evil dragon that must be slain?
What does the conflict look like, what are the actions your lead character must take to achieve his goal?
“After his twin sister dies, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world where the tyrant businessman who caused his sibling’s death transforms into a firebreathing dragon which he must slay to save the land.”
See lessA team of intrepid explorers develop the first faster than light drive to take humanity to the stars. The only thing in their way is humanity itself.
Okay...so what happens? How is humanity an obstacle in this story? What are the personal stakes for one or all of these intrepid folks? Loglines should be one sentence, and faster-than-light should be hyphenated in this context. Would the explorers really be the ones to develop the technology? Are tRead more
Okay…so what happens? How is humanity an obstacle in this story? What are the personal stakes for one or all of these intrepid folks?
Loglines should be one sentence, and faster-than-light should be hyphenated in this context.
Would the explorers really be the ones to develop the technology? Are they engineers and scientists in their spare time? This may seem like a minor thing to pick on but a logline with questionable logic means people are questioning aspects of the story rather than being intrigued by them. Also remember how terrible Fant4stic is, with those who build the thing deciding to be the ones who use it.
While this does successfully establish the genre, it doesn’t provide much in the way of the four main things it needs: protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes. One method of crafting a quality logline is to write a big long rambling run-on sentence summarizing all the necessary detail, then trim it down and juggle the phrasing until it’s packed with information but clear and succinct.
See lessWhen she discovers that she let in a strange being in the guise of her dead son, she will be forced to make a decision, before the damage is greater.
She will be forced to make a decision? I don't know what that looks like on screen.
She will be forced to make a decision? I don’t know what that looks like on screen.
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