Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
In a post apocalyptic nuclear bunker – a guilt ridden AI program that triggered WWIII tries to convince the last man on earth to raise it’s “child”, an innocent AI that does not know war.
A logline is not about a choice that the protagonist has to make. A logline is about the goal, the obstacles, the stakes that follow from a choice the protagonist makes. In this instance, it's a no-brainer what his choice will be: he's going to struggle to save the child. Right? So it's not an autheRead more
A logline is not about a choice that the protagonist has to make. A logline is about the goal, the obstacles, the stakes that follow from a choice the protagonist makes.
In this instance, it’s a no-brainer what his choice will be: he’s going to struggle to save the child. Right? So it’s not an authentic dramatic dilemma; there’s no suspense about what he will choose to do. It’s the morally right choice. And if he doesn’t make it, there’s no movie.
I suggest reworking the logline around the story hook: the AI program.
See lessOn the eve of Pearl Harbor, a plucky and indomitable crop duster fights to become the first female fighter pilot in the Army Air Corps.
Does the whole plot take place on the night before Pearl Harbour? Given that her fight to become the first female fighter pilot probably takes longer than one evening, I'm assuming not. Is this based on a true story? If so, I would strongly suggest adding "Based on the true story of a plucky..." andRead more
Does the whole plot take place on the night before Pearl Harbour? Given that her fight to become the first female fighter pilot probably takes longer than one evening, I’m assuming not.
Is this based on a true story? If so, I would strongly suggest adding “Based on the true story of a plucky…” and I would consider making the bit about Pearl Harbour the button on the logline. I guess it depends whether you show the attack on Pearl Harbour. I would probably suggest not since it’s been shown on film quite a few times already and I actually think ending the film with her happy in the knowledge that she’s achieved the unachievable… then the warning sirens sound.
I would consider having her as just “plucky” or just “indomitable” (although I would change this to “strong-willed” or similar… it’s a bit more accessible) as I’m not sure you need both. I would go with “strong-willed” personally, fwiw.
I like this. I really hope it is a true story as that would add a lot of weight to the logline. Interested to see your answers to my questions.
See lessA plus size woman competes with her sexy, gold-digger friend for the man of her dreams.
Can't plus size women be sexy too? I feel like the wording of this logline suggests that the plus size woman is at a disadvantage because of her physique. This is problematic in the post #MeToo era. Surely, the decision is out of her hands? It's down to the guy. You can't force someone to fall in loRead more
Can’t plus size women be sexy too? I feel like the wording of this logline suggests that the plus size woman is at a disadvantage because of her physique. This is problematic in the post #MeToo era.
Surely, the decision is out of her hands? It’s down to the guy. You can’t force someone to fall in love with you, so whether he’s the man of her dreams or not is somewhat irrelevant. Doesn’t sound like her “friend” is much of a friend either.
Logline-wise, it has most of the required elements but it needs some visual specificity. What, specifically, is she doing to compete for this guy? If this is a feature, you’ve got 90+ mins to fill, so the reader needs to understand what’s going to be happening on screen.
Hope this helps in some way.
See less