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  1. Posted: August 1, 2020In: SciFi

    In the near future, the next pandemic divides the world into two pods: the safe – Positives, and the dangerous – Negatives. The Positives can’t get infected from each other, but can from an infected Negative. The Positives enjoy all the glories of life, the Negatives none. Some Negatives pose and cross over to live as Positives. At the penalty of death. This is their story

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on August 1, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    This is an interesting situation. However, a situation isn't a story. Who is the lead character? What do they want? What is standing in their way?

    This is an interesting situation.
    However, a situation isn’t a story.

    Who is the lead character?
    What do they want?
    What is standing in their way?

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  2. Posted: July 9, 2020In: Drama

    One lonely Filipino seafarer in a cruise ship unexpectedly falls in love to his roommate but rejects him, as they sail together to Caribbean he attempts to commit suicide to end his depression.

    Philippe Le Miere Logliner
    Added an answer on July 30, 2020 at 5:37 pm

    Great. So our Seafarer is lonely. Good place to start psychologically, as our general assumptions are seafarers spend a great deal of time lone, at sea. Story Challenge: why might such a lonely man have have made such a isolating career choice - given it's so lonely out at sea? Still the question ofRead more

    Great. So our Seafarer is lonely. Good place to start psychologically, as our general assumptions are seafarers spend a great deal of time lone, at sea.

    Story Challenge: why might such a lonely man have have made such a isolating career choice – given it’s so lonely out at sea?

    Still the question of gender remains? Recognise the importance of identity politics, but “he” -> falls in love with … Who? The value of this question is that of describing Villain – surely the best part of story development. Suggestion: Think maybe ‘Film Noir’ …. that is if the villain is female.

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  3. Posted: July 28, 2020In: SciFi

    After her father abandoned her, a cyborg hunter must search her identity of her father and grandfather before it’s too late.

    Philippe Le Miere Logliner
    Added an answer on July 30, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    The achievement in this post is the recognition that "change" is integral to story. To be a complete logline, however, this question of "changing" must be addressed. The answer can be found in the inciting incident. Cause and Effect. Why might a young man take steps to be adopt a family tradition? TRead more

    The achievement in this post is the recognition that “change” is integral to story.

    To be a complete logline, however, this question of “changing” must be addressed.

    The answer can be found in the inciting incident. Cause and Effect. Why might a young man take steps to be adopt a family tradition?

    This story fragment makes me think of ‘The Godfather’. However, what makes the story arc of Godfather so compelling is how a young man “doesn’t” want to adopt the old ways -> only to end up becoming a cyborg hunter (read ‘Gangster’).

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