Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
The bass player for a famous band struggles to keep his friendship intact and meet the demands of the job as he slowly succumbs to addiction, he must find a way to help himself or risk losing his life and career.
I can visualize the story from the logline, which is a big plus. One critique, not a criticism. Since this is a short story, you should probably start the story from the moment of crisis. "After an overdose, an addicted Bass player, who's never performed straight, must swallow his pride, admit his pRead more
I can visualize the story from the logline, which is a big plus.
One critique, not a criticism. Since this is a short story, you should probably start the story from the moment of crisis.
“After an overdose, an addicted Bass player, who’s never performed straight, must swallow his pride, admit his problem, and allow his bandmates to help him overcome his drug problem, which is much easier said than done.”
Just a thought.
One more thing. In most stories of this nature. A reasonably decent person enters the world of entertainment, goes to a party, and is offered drugs. Then one time becomes two, and two times becomes every day, then they are addicted and their life spirals out of control.
However, what isn’t always discussed is that some people are just shy, or have a fear of performing in front of a crowd. So they take a shot before they go on, or a pill. Then as the crowds get bigger, so does the amount of drinking and drugs. It isn’t them getting caught up in the party scene, it is how they cope with their fear of performing in front of an audience.
I have seen the first story many times, sometimes it is about a model or an actor who arrives in the big city innocent and then slowly is corrupted by drugs and alcohol.
See lessBut you never really see the second story, where the person gets addicted because of extreme performance anxiety, and their fear is, if they stop the drugs, can they even perform sober?
When teenage angst goes south…an unofficial FB reunion 7 years later squares the circle but not in a nice way – MIDNITE SUN
Who is the lead character? What is their goal? What is standing in their way? (By that I mean those three things should be in your logline)
Who is the lead character?
What is their goal?
What is standing in their way?
(By that I mean those three things should be in your logline)
See lessWhen a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his own missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love.
You have two inciting incidents... that is one inciting incident too many. When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. (There is no conflict) When a 21-year-old encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entRead more
You have two inciting incidents… that is one inciting incident too many.
When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. (There is no conflict)
When a 21-year-old encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love, he must… (Then tell us what he must do)
I would choose one of these stories to concentrate on for the logline. That doesn’t mean both stories won’t be in the finished script, it just means for the logline you should tell the ‘main’ story.
See less