Still not making any sense and has extraneous apostrophes. Why does it matter what year it is? There’s nothing else described here which couldn’t be happening right now.

Why does it matter that she’s timid? How does this character trait affect her actions, conflicts, and situations within the story? Where is the irony of this issue? Why is she racing against time? What’s setting that time limit, what’s the rush?

What you’re doing here is introducing ideas without making it clear why they’re a part of the story, thus, we don’t get a clear idea of the story.

Even more unclear is the latter part: who’s going to be controlling society? The artificial humans? Why is that bad? Or does the CEO want control? Why? How’s that going to affect people?

Like I said, the ideas are presented but not the story. Tell us the basics of what happens in the first half. And proofread the apostrophes.

There’s two commas in here and no period at the end. The word “nice” is used four times and I have no idea what’s going on the story because of the structure of the logline. Is this how the script is structured? It starts AFTER an inciting incident? Think about the manner and order in which you’re presenting information to your readers. You want it clear, simple, straightforward. If I have to read your logline two or more times just to figure out what the story is, the logline doesn’t work. It should be one single sentence that moves everything forward without slowing down. Pronoun clarity goes a long way toward making this work, and when you keep going back and forth between various characters without a more straightforward structure, it’s hard to know who’s who and who’s doing what or why.

So what’s the issue with the nice world? This is the hook of your story and you’ve left it blank. It’s an intriguing concept you’ve failed to mention. What WOULD happen if everyone in the world was nice? We need some idea of the second act or we don’t get enough of your story.