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A young corporate suffers a breakdown that links him to a traditional religion that destroyed his culture. He must overcome an internal conflict and re-discover his spiritual faith so that his identity isn’t diminished forever.
It's not clear what "breakdown that links him" means. Can you make things more specific, because I don't get what exactly is going on. "Internal conflict," "identity [is] diminished," etc are very vague terms.
It’s not clear what “breakdown that links him” means. Can you make things more specific, because I don’t get what exactly is going on. “Internal conflict,” “identity [is] diminished,” etc are very vague terms.
See lessA talented Fil-Am restaurateur returns to his country of birth where he is challenged by an unscrupulous boyhood friend, with a promise of co-ownership, to transform his failing Manila restaurant to number one on TripAdvisor.
The goal of a story doesn't always have to be about saving the world. But the goal should always 'mean the world' to the lead character. I like the elements in your logline but why does making his friend's restaurant number 1 on Trip Advisor 'mean the world' to the lead character? In your story, theRead more
The goal of a story doesn’t always have to be about saving the world.
But the goal should always ‘mean the world’ to the lead character.
I like the elements in your logline but why does making his friend’s restaurant number 1 on Trip Advisor ‘mean the world’ to the lead character?
In your story, the lead has a life back home. If he fails it doesn’t matter. As written in your logline and synopsis, there doesn’t seem to be any stakes.
Anyway, it’s a great concept it just seems to be missing a compelling reason for the lead to want to accomplish his goal. I believe adding that one element would improve an already good story.
See lessA hospice nurse struggles with reality when an elderly, comatose patient begins terrorizing her dreams–and then drags the nightmare into her waking life.
Great synopsis. I added "newly hired" to answer "why now?" Also, to stand out, consider "night terrors" instead of nightmares; they're rare among adults but may be a good fit for this premise. A newly hired hospice nurse begins to question her sanity when nightmares of an elderly comatose patient beRead more
Great synopsis.
I added “newly hired” to answer “why now?” Also, to stand out, consider “night terrors” instead of nightmares; they’re rare among adults but may be a good fit for this premise.
A newly hired hospice nurse begins to question her sanity when nightmares of an elderly comatose patient become a reality.
Make this yours, take care.
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