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  1. Posted: December 15, 2019In: Drama, Examples, Historical

    After the nuclear power plant catastrophe at Chernobyl in April, 1986, a Russian scientist must battle against incompetence, ideological delusions and lies to contain the radiation while discovering the truth of how it happened.

    Looking4h2o Logliner
    Added an answer on March 18, 2020 at 12:51 pm

    A, Russian scientist must battle against incompetence, and lies after the nuclear power catastrophe at Chernobyl in April, 1986. But the hierarchy threaten his drive to find accidents don?t just happen.

    A, Russian scientist must battle against incompetence, and lies after the nuclear power catastrophe at Chernobyl in April, 1986. But the hierarchy threaten his drive to find accidents don?t just happen.

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  2. Posted: March 16, 2020In: Comedy

    Two directionless twenty-something bartenders are accidentally exposed to information about a fixed horse race and try to take advantage of this potential windfall without tipping their hand to the nasty thugs that planned the caper

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 17, 2020 at 10:11 pm

    Jamzies:I advocate composing two loglines for works projects, a development version to rough out the fundamentals of the plot for the work in progress, and eventually a marketing version for pitching the finished script.? (Ideally, the two could be one and the same, but in practice that is not alwayRead more

    Jamzies:

    I advocate composing two loglines for works projects, a development version to rough out the fundamentals of the plot for the work in progress, and eventually a marketing version for pitching the finished script.? (Ideally, the two could be one and the same, but in practice that is not always the case. )

    “Gets in too deep” is vague,? needs clarification and specificity. Right now, I am interested in a development logline version of your concept that lays down the fundamental elements:? inciting incident, protagonist, objective goal, antagonist, stakes.? (And it is perfectly kosher for a development version to begin with “when” because it’s for a work in progress, only for private use. I agree that the marketing version for when the finished script goes public should try to avoid leading off with that word.)

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  3. Posted: March 16, 2020In: Drama

    After a heated fallout with her former band mate, a determined singer signs a deal with a ruthless CEO unknowingly in the gangster lifestyle, who fills her head with promises and solo stardom, as she forms a greed dictated rivalry with her formal partner that culminates to tragedy.

    yqwertz Mentor
    Added an answer on March 17, 2020 at 5:10 am

    You need to pare down the premise to find the center of your story. For example, the inciting incident is probably not the singer's fallout with her old band, but the signing of the contract with the mobster, who by the way will be either a "promoter" or a "producer" and, for an unknown singer, defiRead more

    You need to pare down the premise to find the center of your story. For example, the inciting incident is probably not the singer’s fallout with her old band, but the signing of the contract with the mobster, who by the way will be either a “promoter” or a “producer” and, for an unknown singer, definitely not a CEO.? As for the tragedy, be more specific. Different people have different understanding of what constitutes a tragedy. Did the promoter have the ambitious singer’s competitor/friend murdered to smooth the way for her rise? Or does the promoter pump her full will drugs during her rise and leaves her in the gutter, having stolen all her money?

    Deborah_b suggest concentrating on the rivalry. If you want to go that route, you need two strong characters. The singer you have as the MC and one in the old band. In that case, the promoter’s role will be reduced and could probably be left out of the logline in favor of some information about the rival.

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