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A mobster take down drug lords and rescues a former child actor before he dies.
I again revised it. 1) He was kidnapped by drug lords. 2) He must rescue him. 3) He has cancer. 4) He is a mobster.
I again revised it.
1) He was kidnapped by drug lords.
2) He must rescue him.
3) He has cancer.
4) He is a mobster.
See lessCuando una madre muere de c?ncer, su hija queda al cuidado de su padre y su calculadora t?a, que acaba convirti?ndose en su madrastra y la maltrata duramente. La hija descubre como liberarse y acabar con ella gracias a un libro que dej? su madre.
[Ingl?s traducido al espa?ol por Google] As? es como entiendo la historia reducida a lo b?sico: Una joven debe aprender a usar un libro m?gico dejado por su amada pero ahora muerta madre para liberarse de su cruel padre y su t?a intrigante. Supongo que el libro es m?gico. No s? qu? m?s podr?a proporRead more
[Ingl?s traducido al espa?ol por Google]
As? es como entiendo la historia reducida a lo b?sico:
Una joven debe aprender a usar un libro m?gico dejado por su amada pero ahora muerta madre para liberarse de su cruel padre y su t?a intrigante.
Supongo que el libro es m?gico. No s? qu? m?s podr?a proporcionar para liberarla de sus opresores.
Saludos
English:
Here is how I understand the story reduced to its basics:
A young woman must learn how to use a magical book left by her beloved but now dead mother in order to break free of her cruel father and scheming aunt.
I assume the book is magical.I do not know what else it could provide to liberate her from her oppressors.
regards
See less?A young widow vowed to protect her husband’s sacred family heirloom but later becomes a target of a ruthless adversary who wants to kill her and take the emblem.
Always start with the protagonist. The script itself doesn't start AFTER the inciting incident, so why start the logline with the word "After"? Introduce the character then state what happens to her. The story isn't clear. To what or whom exactly is she devout? Her dead husband? To being a widow? DoRead more
Always start with the protagonist. The script itself doesn’t start AFTER the inciting incident, so why start the logline with the word “After”? Introduce the character then state what happens to her.
The story isn’t clear. To what or whom exactly is she devout? Her dead husband? To being a widow? Doesn’t make sense. Unclear pronouns too; who is “She?” The widow or the enemy? Who has connections to the husband? The wife? Obviously! The enemy? What kind of connection? It’s all too vague, doesn’t provide a sense of what the story is actually about, is awkwardly phrased, and is a bit too long: 20-25 words is best, definitely no more than 30.
How else can the protagonist be described? Since “devout” has no clear meaning here, what is it about this woman which makes her interesting? What is she besides a widow? Is she old, young, middle-aged? Give us an idea of the state of her life without stating her age outright. How does her husband’s death relate to her current situation? You said it was violent, so that sounds like a murder, but why is this person also after her? Or is that the mystery? If so, make that clear. Tell us the story is about her solving the mystery of her husband’s murder while trying to prevent her own.
As for secrets laying in his grave, is that meant to be symbolic or literal? Was he buried with some sort of clue, or is this about what secrets he took with him to his grave? It’s all very unclear, and a logline is supposed to intrigue a reader enough to want to read more, not force us to ask questions just to understand the story.
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