Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When he is denied admission to any of the college for his low grades, he gets an invitation from a mysterious college which was shut down decades ago.
Interesting setup. What’s the goal? You could start with “When an invitation arrives from a long-defunct college, a [subpar/jilted student] [adventure goal].” Make this yours. Take care.
Interesting setup. What’s the goal?
You could start with “When an invitation arrives from a long-defunct college, a [subpar/jilted student] [adventure goal].”
Make this yours. Take care.
See lessA grieving father takes a job as a janitor to break into a building and gatecrash a Christmas party to exact revenge on those who committed an unspeakable act against his son.
This logline had me HOOKED until you said "unspeakable act". The unspeakable act is directly spoken of when you say, "unspeakable act". However, changing unspeakable out for a different adjective fixes this problem immediately and leaves you with a very very well polished logline that sells. "HeinouRead more
This logline had me HOOKED until you said “unspeakable act”. The unspeakable act is directly spoken of when you say, “unspeakable act”. However, changing unspeakable out for a different adjective fixes this problem immediately and leaves you with a very very well polished logline that sells. “Heinous” “unforgivable” “destructive.” Maybe I am ridiculous, but to me (and my opinion is but a grain of salt) unspeakable loses me because it could be anything, when what I want is simplicity and a logline that is upfront.
WONDERFUL LOGLINE!!!
See lessDuring a neighborhood bicycle race a boy must survive the increasing signs of violent, psychopathic behavior of his younger brother.
Protagonist: Boy Antagonist: younger brother Stakes: The Boy's life / Survival Story Goal: ? I think that your premise has emotional potential, but currently it feels like the emotion is missing (in the logline). I am sure that as a screenwriter you have this story mapped out in your head as to theRead more
Protagonist: Boy
Antagonist: younger brother
Stakes: The Boy’s life / Survival
Story Goal: ?
I think that your premise has emotional potential, but currently it feels like the emotion is missing (in the logline). I am sure that as a screenwriter you have this story mapped out in your head as to the emotional predicament of a delusional and dangerous family member. But, in your current logline, it’s emotionless. Possibly something regarding the race could be used to describe the younger brother which would give us an incite into the emotional conflict. “violently jealous” “selfishly psychotic” something in relation to the event of the race like this could be used. Just food for thought, would love a response with a link to the short film when it is made!
See less