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  1. Posted: February 14, 2020In: Drama

    A broken woman tries to find her way by deciding whether to pursue her own path or go down the path her lover had begged her to.

    Tony Byrd Penpusher
    Added an answer on February 14, 2020 at 11:56 pm

    This is an interesting logline. I hope it can turn into a great movie.

    This is an interesting logline. I hope it can turn into a great movie.

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  2. Posted: February 13, 2020In: Crime

    Title: The Getaway When a retired from crime convict is released from prison she must redeem herself to win back the trust of her daughter. But when her daughter ends up kidnapped by a criminal mastermind, she is put through multiple lethal corrupted jobs, to save her child before its too late, and risk going back to prison which she vowed to leave forever.

    Trix Samurai
    Added an answer on February 14, 2020 at 7:51 pm

    Hi Keeks, I agree with Mike - especially about it being easier to critique someone else's Logline than it is to write your own! LOL. Here are my thoughts: I like your title... The Getaway suggests both the MC getting away from crime and maybe the new job she is forced to perform - could she be the gRead more

    Hi Keeks,

    I agree with Mike – especially about it being easier to critique someone else’s Logline than it is to write your own! LOL. Here are my thoughts:

    • I like your title… The Getaway suggests both the MC getting away from crime and maybe the new job she is forced to perform – could she be the getaway driver? (never seen a woman in this kind of role before).
    • Things to strip out as redundant in my mind are “retired from crime” – ex-con… I don’t think you need to state she’s just been released from prison?, “she is put through multiple… etc” – blackmailed to perform one last job, “risking going back to prison” – delete.
    • Maybe she is the best at what she did, and the criminal mastermind is an old boss/accomplice? Maybe their last job together landed her in jail? That could give them a connection and a reason for the mastermind (maybe another woman?) to kidnap her daughter as a means to blackmail her?
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  3. Posted: February 13, 2020In: Noir

    When Private Investigator Kris Kringle wakes with amnesia, he must use five clues found on his person to retrace his steps, remember his past and save a missing child.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on February 14, 2020 at 11:31 am

    Here is the Irony: By calling the lead character Kris Kringle, you take away the dramatic tension. Everyone who reads it is going to know, He's Santa. But if you take away the name Kris Kringle, you get rid of the hook.

    Here is the Irony:

    By calling the lead character Kris Kringle, you take away the dramatic tension. Everyone who reads it is going to know, He’s Santa.

    But if you take away the name Kris Kringle, you get rid of the hook.

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