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When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his own missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love.
You have two inciting incidents... that is one inciting incident too many. When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. (There is no conflict) When a 21-year-old encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entRead more
You have two inciting incidents… that is one inciting incident too many.
When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. (There is no conflict)
When a 21-year-old encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love, he must… (Then tell us what he must do)
I would choose one of these stories to concentrate on for the logline. That doesn’t mean both stories won’t be in the finished script, it just means for the logline you should tell the ‘main’ story.
See lessCalled to a disturbance a cop discovers a murder and everything points to his daughter. He calls upon favours, legal and illegal to hide the truth
"A police officer betrays his vows and code of ethics to hide what he believes is evidence his daughter committed a murder." However, you might need to put a face to the conflict. "A police officer betrays his vows and code of ethics to hide what he believes is evidence his daughter committed a murdRead more
“A police officer betrays his vows and code of ethics to hide what he believes is evidence his daughter committed a murder.”
However, you might need to put a face to the conflict.
“A police officer betrays his vows and code of ethics to hide what he believes is evidence his daughter committed a murder, from a persistent internal affairs officer.”
See lessWhen traumatic memories of a past life as a WWII pilot haunt him, an emotionally fractured young man must harness his wild imagination; but when he breaks from his domineering father, he must master self doubt in order to become a whole and grounded person before losing his life to suicide
The protag’s past life is your hook, and I get it’s the catalyst for change, but have you considered exploring your hook via his grandfather? Riff: Grandad (co-pilot) was the lone survivor of the WWII plane crash that killed his best friend (now reincarnated as protag). This is your story. Just offeRead more
The protag’s past life is your hook, and I get it’s the catalyst for change, but have you considered exploring your hook via his grandfather?
Riff: Grandad (co-pilot) was the lone survivor of the WWII plane crash that killed his best friend (now reincarnated as protag).
This is your story. Just offering ways to crank the hook up to eleven 😉
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